You Can't Con a Con
by Selah25
Summary: Elle's a survivor of Flight 815.  Stranded on the island, her haunted past finds its way back into her life as she forms relationships with the others.  Does she have what it takes to leave her dark and tortuous past behind her?  Is this her 2nd chance?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1-Island (Present time; Elle age 25)

He sat with his back up against the wreckage from the plane with a cigarette in one hand and a book in another. He was a rare sight, but she was intrigued nonetheless. Down the beach, she saw the brother and sister arguing once again.

Elle watched as the lanky store bought blonde walked up to him and from her mouth came a prissy yet demanding,

"Well do you have any or what?"

Sawyer's eyes flitted from the pages of the dampened novel and scanned the lengthy legs of the blonde and stated nonchalantly with the cigarette suspended from his lips,

"You're in my light, Sticks."

With this, Shannon snorted and stomped her pedicured foot into the sand,

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Not really in the mood for conversation, he was getting to the climax of the story after all, Sawyer snickered,

"Light, comma, sticks. As in those legs of yours."

As Elle watched the two interact, she couldn't help but laugh. He was not only a smart ass, but also an educated one at that. Her interest was piqued once again. She could sense that Shannon was obviously offended that he would dare stare at her like she was some tart and to her surprise heard him say,

"Your money's no good here," with that sly smile of his.

Shannon stood there silent for a moment, mulling over what he just said and stormed off in a huff.

"You have got to be kidding me! Not if you were the last person on Mystery Frickin' Island!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Blondie."

With that, he returned to his book, cigarette slowly burning between his lips.

Elle was drawn to him and she didn't know why. Was it that lost look in his ocean green eyes, or his slacked jaw, that beautiful jaw, that jutted out as he threw out a witty one-liner? They were similar yet she had the ace to trump his king; she had a conscience.

What she didn't know was that Sawyer wasn't the hardened bastard everyone on the island thought he was. Sawyer too was compassionate, perhaps that's why his stomach turned each time he thought of what he had done. He had killed a man, the wrong man, an innocent man. And he felt guilty for it. He felt cheated and that is why he conned. It appeased the guilt. It shadowed the ounce of humanity he had


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Island, night, dream sequence

Elle awoke with a shudder. She was tangled in the tattered blanket from the wreckage, a cold sweat trickling down her spine. She had the nightmare again. It always started the same. She was walking down a darkened alley, the moon casting a shadow that seemed to follow her. He was standing with his back to her, fumbling for the keys to his car. She crept quietly behind him and as she put a gun to his skull, she whispered,

"You taught me well Sully, too well."

As she pulled the trigger, it wasn't the pop of the gun that stirred her from her sleep, but his final words,

"Karma's a bitch, sugar."

She couldn't sleep. Not after reliving the worst night of her life. She traipsed along the water's edge gazing up at the star speckled sky. She didn't even realize he was walking up behind her. With his raspy, southern drawl, Sawyer spoke.

"Neva' took you for the 'enjoys long walks on the beach' kinda gal."

She spun around, taking a fighter's stance, defending…

Defending what? she thought, as she lowered her arms.

"I forget I'm not alone on this island sometimes…you caught me off guard."

That didn't happen a lot to Elle. She was a cautious woman, protective of her secrets, protective of her surroundings. He just happened to capture her in one of her weak moments. She took note not to let that happen again.

"Couldn't sleep either?" she asked him.

They were walking side by side.

"I enjoy the night, while everyone else is asleep in their damn near perfect dream worlds."

Realizing he spoke more than three words, he bent to pick up a pebble and tossed it into the ocean. Elle chuckled as if she read his mind.

"A man of a few words during the day, you're full of surprises when the sun sets."

He cocked his head and with that sly smile of his, Sawyer said,

"When the lights go down, I could show you a few more surprises."

"You're not the only one," she said with a playful wink.

This made Sawyer laugh; which was rare. She was relaxed around him and not many people were. That's what he liked about her. She didn't fall for his shit. She could dish it out as well as he could serve it.

They walked for a while, talking about little things that didn't matter much, but more importantly didn't reveal much about their pasts. She found out that he preferred menthol to regular cigarettes and how if the Doc thought he was a prick now, just wait until he went through nicotine withdrawal. He was an only child, which proved why he didn't _play well with others_ and from his extensive knowledge of the fictionalized world, nicknamed everyone on the island. Sawyer called it as he saw it, and unlike most, he didn't care if he was politically correct or not. As he stated to Elle,

"Ignorance may be bliss, but baby, I'm that little voice that ya'll keep quiet. Censorship is overrated."

Sawyer found out that Elle liked to sip vodka straight out of the bottle; Elle was short for Elizabeth, which she always thought sounded too rich and snobbish for her blood and was _stronger than she looked_. And he had looked. She was tall and slender with a body defined as if she was sculpted by the gods of Greece. When he asked her to name a body part she liked on herself, he was shocked to hear that she liked her eyes. As she mentioned this, Sawyer took them in. Darker than dark, her eyes were almost black. Her olive skin and her long wavy brown hair set them off. Hair similar to Kate's, he thought, but she was definitely _not _Freckles. Elle didn't doubt herself and had no problem putting him in his place. He was turned on by her confidence. She could have pulled off a con like no other, Sawyer thought to himself. _If he only knew_.

Flashback (Elle age 21)

The funny thing about Karma, is that you least expect it to show up when things are going well. And things were never good for Elle, not before the crash, and definitely not _that night. _When she was younger, she was shuffled through the foster system and ended up in independent living when she turned 18. Families, already made or not, just couldn't keep her settled. She wasn't a good kid. She always knew that. She had it rough and she wasn't loved. She was always told she'd never make it in the real world. She didn't want to be the shell of the bad seed everyone knew she was. _She was going to change, but how?_

Sully was how. He took her in; showed her the tricks of the trade. They were two of kind. Tainted, shunned, and from the wrong side of the tracks. She never knew Sully's real name. He said the name Sully just _sort of stuck_…because wherever he went, he soiled everything he touched. He taught her how to shoot a 9mm that she kept holstered to her hip, how to harden her heart and put on a façade so smoothly that the men never knew what hit them, until it was too late. Until she had taken them for all the money they had and left them crawling back to their wives begging for forgiveness. Elle was a confidence woman. For once in her life, she was good at something. So good that she forgot she was hurting innocent people, ruining their lives just like her life was ruined.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Island, same night

As they walked back to their tents, Sawyer asked,

"Your tent or mine?"

Elle was quick to deliver,

"It's gonna take more than a walk on the beach, Sawyer, even if it was under a starlit sky."

Sawyer nodded goodnight and began to walk towards his own tent. If he only knew that she would have readily invited him in. To her own chagrin, Elle digressed. She jogged to meet him, looked at him with those sad eyes, and said,

"I really don't feel like being alone tonight. Not a real big fan of the dark."

He wanted to be witty, but how could he be, when her eyes were full of fear. A fear he knew all too well. She didn't want to fall asleep.

Who's haunting her dreams? he thought to himself.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her into his tent.

"Darlin', I don't mind at all."

Elle found herself resting upon his chest that night and the last thing she saw before she drifted off was Sawyer's face. When her breathing evened out and not until it did, Sawyer too, fell asleep, his arms cradling Elle, protecting her from the ghosts that haunt her dreams.

Flashback (Elle age 25)

The cardinal rule to being a convincing con artist is to never get attached. You shield yourself and your heart as if your life depended on it. Too many things could go awry if you allowed yourself to become emotionally attached to your mark.

Sully taught her this. Besides a stepfather she had once, who told her she'd never amount to anything, Sully was the only male figure in her life that expressed any type of emotion towards her. He didn't so much express his love for her in the typical ways. She never received the traditional roses or was even taken out for dinner, but Sully made sure there was a roof over her head, she had warm meals, and he reminded her how he wouldn't be the man he was if she wasn't by his side. To her, this was love.

When they made love, it was animalistic and rushed and he was always quick to leave. He always had _some place to be _and Elle knew that he was at the strip club down the road, getting his rocks off to someone that was not and would _never be_ her.

Elle relished these moments. She would go over her statistics on her latest mark. She would memorize his schedule as if it was her own. She knew when he left his house for work and that he always stayed at work late or went to dinner with pals, when he should have been home with his wife.

However, her latest mark, Cameron, was single, worked in stock trades, and had a yearning to be _that guy_. Elle could provide him with it all and leave him as if he was yesterday's trash. She never imagined that she would make a mistake, not with Cameron, not with her own life. But she did, and it wasn't only her life that was on the line. She had to think about the baby. She fell in love, with Cameron, and with the idea of having a child of her own.

Little did she know, her mentor, her Sully, would betray her, no matter the cost. She broke the cardinal rule of being a con; she compromised everything Sully worked so hard to mold her into. How could she for one minute think he would let her get away? The tables had turned and it was high time for Elle to do something she never thought she would have to do. She had to kill Sully. _She had to take a stand for the man she loved._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Island, few days later

There was chaos on the beach a few days after their walk on the beach that night. Elle was amidst the survivors who were watching the Doc screaming at Sawyer. There was something about inhalers and how the blonde waste of space needed them. She only got bits and pieces of the argument. Seemed that Shannon was having an asthma attack and her _pretty boy brother_ accused Sawyer of having her spare inhalers.

"He had her book, he has her inhalers!" Boone cried.

He was pointing an accusatory finger in Sawyer's direction as Sayid held him back. Why Sawyer didn't tell them the truth from the beginning she would learn later, however at this moment Jack was about to attack Sawyer. Before Elle could jump in, the doctor's sidekick, Kate, broke up the fight. Sawyer was spitting vile remarks in their direction when he felt a familiar and friendly hand on his shoulder.

"Let's get you out of the spotlight there champ," Elle said, as she guided Sawyer back to his tent.

Sawyer was relieved to see her, more so, he was grateful.

"You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about?" she asked as they sat down on the cool, coarse granules of sand.

"You want their version or mine?" he snapped.

"I already got theirs. I'm more concerned about you."

Sawyer cussed a bit under his breath as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He laid back and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. When he looked up at her, he just stared at her and she saw her reflection in his eyes. She knew that look; he was hiding something from his past. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm not a good person, never was. They assume that since I have a cache of supplies, I would fuckin' have the chick's inhalers. You know what they say about making assumptions."

Sawyer chuckled at this and Elle pressed him for more information.

"I don't have 'em." he said, pointing to his left.

"I found the book washed up on the beach along with some other good reads."

She believed him as she followed his gaze; there were a few books strewn across his blanket along with a stack of magazines. Still curiosity got the best of her. Why would he want to portray himself as an inconsiderate jerk?

As if he was reading her mind, Sawyer coolly stated,

"I'm a complex guy."

She quickly put him in his place.

"Heard that line before, but I don't buy it! We all have our secrets. They were burnt in the fuselage along with our pasts. You aren't _that guy_ when you're around me and still you go round for round with them pretending to be someone you're not. Why?"

Elle was truly exasperated by now and she heard him whisper,

"It's easier to be hated than loved."

She knew that all too well. Sawyer felt something he hadn't felt before; comfort. What was it about her that made him want to expose his soul? Sawyer inhaled deeply, and with a desperate sigh,

"Damn it woman…"

Sawyer began to spill his life out for her, right down to the note he carried in his back pocket.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know where to start. He was a confidence man? He spent his whole life searching for the man that ruined his life and killed an innocent man? He took on his demon's persona and his life was never the same. His name was James? Her mind was swirling. How their pasts were so similar was shocking to Elle.

"I should have known," she sighed.

_This wasn't the first time she was mistaken._

He looked up at her with those eyes and said,

"Shoulda' known what, darlin'?"

"How to spot a con artist. I'm pretty good at reading people. I had to in my line of work."

Sawyer looked hurt as he growled,

"This isn't a con! You were never a mark!"

She placed two hands on either of his arms, looked him straight in the eyes, and calmly told him that the thought never crossed her mind. In fact, she thought she left that all in the past.

"Left what?" he asked.

"The confidence way of life," was all she could muster.

His eyes lit up like a little boy at the foot of a Christmas tree.

"You've been holdin' out on me!"

"Like I said before, that life died when the plane crashed."

She didn't say anything else until she heard him ask with that southern drawl that made her knees weak,

"I showed you mine…"

They were interrupted by the heated doctor and Sayid. They dragged him out of the tent demanding the inhalers.

"Get your filthy hands off of me, Abdul!" Sawyer hissed.

Elle latched onto Jack's shoulder demanding him to let go of Sawyer.

"He doesn't have the damn inhalers, Jack!"

Jack shouted,

"Stay out of this Elle! He had his chance!" as he pushed her hands aside causing her to fall.

For a moment, Jack looked sympathetic towards her, but that was until she cursed him.

"You don't know who you're dealing with, Jack!" she spat.

"I swear to you, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into!"

Sayid said nothing but looked at Jack with an all-knowing stare,

"You do not want her as an enemy, friend."

Into the trees, they dragged him, and Elle found herself running East on the beach. She felt if she didn't burn off her anger, she would turn into something unforeseen.

"I won't be her anymore!" she said repeatedly in her head.

The beach seemed to go on forever and somehow she could hear Sawyer's screams from the jungle; it tore a hole in her heart.

Flashback (Elle age 25; weeks before the crash)

Ironically, since breaking the cardinal rule of being a con artist, Elle's life seemed to be going just fine. She was in love with Cameron. He was the polar opposite of Sully. When they made love, multiple times a day, it was slow and tender. Cameron took an interest in Elle unlike Sully. He was concerned for her. When she found herself alone with Cameron, she forgot her _sullen_ life and got caught up in the moment. Perhaps her life had finally changed. Perhaps she was just blinded. Either way, she would soon find out that Sully was beginning to suspect a slight wrinkle in plans.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted, as she walked into their shabby apartment.

"Working." she countered.

Sully didn't like her tone. He was getting restless and it was starting to show.

"The job should have been over by now, Elle. Where in hell is the money?"

Not missing a beat, Elle convinced Sully that the money was on its way.

"He's finalizing a trade with a lucrative box company tomorrow. We'll have the 1.4 million and he'll be tomorrow's news. Keep your panties on, Sully. You're starting to sweat a little."

Something about the way she put him in his place caught Sully off guard. She was always on target with the scams but something in her eyes told Sully things were different this time. Her eyes were brighter somehow. Where were those blackened stones?

"You haven't fallen for the golden boy have you?" Sully mocked.

"If I didn't know better, Sully, I would think you were jealous. Believe me; the game is going exactly as planned."

Elle couldn't believe she sounded so convincing. She knew deep down that Sully was suspicious of her actions as of lately, but she couldn't let him think otherwise.

Sully followed her that night to Cameron's condo. What he saw boiled his intestines and the blood in his veins bled vengeance. She was laughing! No, no, it was more than that. She was curled up on the couch and his arms were wrapped around her. They were watching TV and Sully could see how _at home _she was. She had fallen for the twit!

He stalked back to his car and promised,

"You can't con a con, baby. I taught you better than that!"

The following morning, Elle knew she had to tell Cameron the truth. It wasn't easy for her to show her true colors. However, she began at the beginning and ended with her heart poured out on the table. She told Cameron that she was pregnant with his child and that she wanted to make a new name for herself. For them!

"You need to get out of town, Cam. I can hold him off for now, but I need to know you are safe. We both do." she said referring to their unborn child.

Together they concocted a plan. Cameron would take a flight to Australia that afternoon and she would meet him there within the month. Sully needed to believe that she had sealed the deal with her mark. Cameron would leave the money with her and would greet her with open arms come the end of the month.

"I hate seeing you do this alone. Please, let me help you," he pleaded with her as he packed the briefcase with the money.

Without a word, she kissed him with all of her soul, and left the condo. Putting on her bravest and coldest face, she drove back to the apartment she kept with Sully.

She arrived to find Sully finishing off a fifth of Jack Daniels.

This will be easier than I thought, she said to herself. She briskly walked up to Sully and tossed the briefcase onto the table.

"Started to celebrate without me, I see!" she exclaimed. Sully didn't bother to look up at her. With his eyes lowered and the glass to his lips, he spoke.

"It's about damn time you showed up. I was starting to worry."

Worry? She thought. When did he ever give two damns about me?

"What are we going to do with all this money," she crooned. She straddled his waist and held a wad of Benjamins under his nose.

"We take Marcus his share, that's what we do. We meet him tonight at 8 p.m. After that, it's the world, sugar." Sully seemed to have lightened up.

"It's not over until we're clear of Marcus. Meet me at The Cellar tonight with the case."

With that, Sully laid a wet, sloppy kiss on her mouth, hard, and pushed her off him. He walked to the shower.

"You coming or what?" he invited.

Feeling disgusted with herself, Elle began to pack. After the shower, Sully left for the club with Marcus' share. While going through her most prized possessions, her books, a piece of paper fell to the floor. On it was a time to meet Marcus, but to her surprise, it wasn't the time Sully had given her. Why would he be meeting Marcus a half hour earlier? Something in her gut made her think the worst.

Is he playing me for a fool? she thought to herself. There was only one way to find out.

As she circled the club's lot, she parked her Black SUV in the alley. She entered the club through the backdoor and took a seat. To her amazement, at the bar, she saw Sully and Marcus.

"The poor bitch won't know what hit her. She's gone soft on me, Marcus. I have to get rid of her. She's compromised my whole operation." Sully snickered, spitting onto the floor.

Gone soft? So he knew. He followed me, the bastard. He planned to get rid of her that night. How? She knew it would be dirty but quick. She eased out the backdoor and parked her car a block down the road. She trekked back to the bar and waited in the alley. She knew Sully like a book. He used the back entrance as his toilet. After waiting until 8 p.m. and realizing she hasn't shown with the money, he will slip out the back door and head to his car at the front of the alley. That's when she would make her move. She was sick to her stomach realizing it had to come down to this, but she had to do it.

Like clockwork, Sully emerged from the club, staggering from the liquor, and placed his left hand on the brick wall and unzipped his jeans.

Like a book, Elle thought to herself. He's so damn predictable. She watched as he stumbled to his car. She crept along the wall. She moved like a panther stalking its prey. Silent and agile, she found herself standing behind Sully. The drunken bastard was fumbling for his keys; he didn't even hear her coming.

Elle pressed the 9mm to the back of his skull like a professional.

"Disappointed baby?" she whispered.

"If there's one thing you taught me, Sully, and you taught me well, was that you can never con a con. You tripped up this time. Left clues like an amateur."

Sully sucked in a breath and exhaled,

"I had no other choice, baby…it was either you or me, and we both know I'm selfish."

"Selfish, but predictable," she stated.

She cocked the gun. Before she could pull the trigger, Sully whispered the words that would haunt her dreams,

"Karma's a bitch, sugar."

Elle didn't say a word; the gun spoke for her. She watched as Sully died in a pool of his own _black as sin_ blood. She had killed before, but this time, it was natural. That made her sick to her stomach. On the other hand, was it something else?

"Oh, no, please God!" she groaned as she grabbed her stomach.

"Not the baby!" she pleaded.

There wasn't a sound in that alley that night except for her whimpering as she walked the block to her jeep. Echoing off the pavement, she thought she could hear Sully's hoarse voice whispering Karma, but it was only her imagination playing tricks on her, right?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Flashback Continues

Two weeks later, Elle boarded a flight to Australia. She had packed two suitcases, one full of the money and another for her clothing and personal effects. She sat in coach, sipping on some juice while she popped her anti-depressant into her mouth.

Karma; she choked on the word. She lost the baby that night she murdered Sully. It took her awhile to ease back into her life, but she did have something to look forward to, she had Cameron. She thought of him constantly. He was so supportive of her after she confided in him about that night. He urged her to come sooner, but she had to take care of a few things first.

"Passengers, please fasten your seatbelts. We are about to land in Sydney, Australia. The weather is sunny and warm, with a high of 84 degrees. It has been a pleasure serving you on Oceanic Airlines," the flight attendant spoke into the PA system.

Elle made her way through the baggage claim and hailed a taxi to Cameron's loft. What she found waiting for her was a proverbial slap in the face.

"You have my money, Elle, baby?" sneered Cameron as he opened the door.

He was in baby blue boxers and had a woman wrapped around his waist.

"Who the hell is she, Cameron?" Elle shouted as she pushed past the bimbo. She stared at Cameron waiting for a response.

"Name's not Cameron. It's Julian," he said.

"She…," pointing to the other woman, "is my wife."

Elle couldn't believe what was happening to her. First, Sully was conning her and this whole time as she was conning Cameron, he was swindling her!

"Un-fuckin-believable!" she hissed. "You played me?"

"_We_ played you. Sully and me. Can't say I'm sorry the poor bastard had to die. You made that part so much easier for me."

Elle was enraged. She shouted at Cameron…Julian…whoever he was, throwing anything she could find. The more expensive the better, she thought. He just laughed at her and made her feel like the fool she was.

"Sully always said you were naïve. You needed someone to love you and I could play that part in my sleep," he guffawed.

"Small town needs a papa figure, little wench. Shame on you for falling for it."

Elle pulled herself together. She walked towards the door and the bleached blonde made a grab for her.

"Where do you think you're going with our money, tramp?"

Elle punched her square in the jaw.

"Don't you ever touch me!" she snapped.

She pulled a fifty-dollar bill from her jean pocket and threw it on top of the sniveling blonde.

"There's your money! Your roots are showing!"

Julian watched her in amazement as she exited his loft. He was turned on by her aggressiveness.

"Baby, wait, we can talk this out!" he pleaded.

"Don't 'please baby' me. This is one scam you won't be receiving the pay in full."

Elle walked out that day with her head held high and her pockets full of cash.

Karma, it may be a bitch, but Elle was taking charge of the wheel this time around. After all, she did lose it all. She lost her lover, her mentor, her baby…most of all; she lost sight of who she really was.

Back to L.A., she thought to herself as she headed for the hotel.

"Yes, I'd like to book a one way ticket to L.A. please," she said into the phone.

Jotting down the flight number onto the hotel's stationary, she repeated it aloud to make sure she heard right.

"Oceanic Flight 815?" she asked.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-Island, same day

Elle burnt off most of her anger and her body had neared exhaustion, but when she heard from Hurley that Jack was tending to his captive's wounds, something inside of her went off. She ran to the caves to find Jack wrapping Sawyer's arm.

"You're something else, Jack!" she shouted.

"You think you could torture him for hours and then play the hero? It doesn't work that way!"

Jack was stunned. As for Sawyer, he had a pleased look on his paled face.

"Thought this day couldn't get any better. Seems the Doc's gonna get a piece of his ass handed to him, Karma style."

Elle began to belittle Jack's character.

"It's ironic how you have to save everyone on this damn island Jack, but you put one survivor's life over the other."

She was raging now.

"He told you he didn't have them, I even told you, but you are so easily influenced by _them_ that you can't think for yourself!" she shouted pointing at the others in the cave.

Elle was really letting him have it. She was easily an inch from him face, jabbing her index finger into his chest, until Jack was pushed up against the cave's wall.

With disdain in her voice, Elle continued.

"Some hero, Jack. You allowed Sayid to torture him while Shannon was in just as much distress. You have to choose, Jack. I don't know if you have noticed, but you can't save everyone!"

She took a breath and Jack realized that this was his chance to turn things around on her. Intimidated as he was, no woman was going to have him backed up against a wall. With lack of better judgment, he pushed her away from him. The crack of his jaw against her fist echoed throughout the cave.

"Don't you touch me!" she said with a snarl.

Jack cradled his face in his hands as blood trickled from his mouth. Gasps could be heard from Boone and Shannon, spectators in the cave.

"Dude, that was some right hook!" exclaimed Hurley.

Jack just rolled his eyes at Hurley and stood up to face Elle.

"Elle, I…apologize…for everything. I know what I did to Sawyer was wrong, but at the time, it was something I believed needed to be done." Jack was sincere and looked emotionally drained.

"I don't want your apology, Jack." Elle said straight-faced.

Walking over to Sawyer's side, she touched him lightly on the shoulder and spoke.

"You didn't torture _me_. Tell _him_ you're sorry."

Sawyer was stunned. He was speechless, for the first time in his life. He never expected someone to stand up for him after all the bullshit he pulled the past few days. She put the Doc in his place, he thought. Jack looked like a dog with its tail between its legs after its owner caught it pissin' on the carpet. Here he was, beaten and bloodied, and all he could think of was planting such a sweet kiss on her lips. He finally choked up a few words directed towards Jack.

"No apologies needed, Hoss. I guess ya'll needed a whipping boy and I was him."

Jack stood there ashamed and discouraged, nodded towards Sawyer, apologized again to Elle, and walked out of the caves.

Sawyer looked up at Elle and a sly smile curled his lips.

"I didn't know you cared."

"Shut up," she whispered as she pushed a few of his straw colored tresses off his face. She sat there by his side, feeding him crushed mangoes, and laughed as water dribbled from his mouth.

"Can't take you anywhere."

"Is that an invitation?" he smirked.

Elle didn't respond. Was it an invitation? What was she getting herself into this time? She couldn't get into a relationship here. Look at how screwed up her life had been. She used men and they took advantage of her. Sawyer was different yet he had such a familiarity that she couldn't think straight.

Guessing the silence was his answer, Sawyer changed the topic.

"So, tell me, where'd you learn to throw a punch like that?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7-Island, the following day

Elle woke up that morning having slept soundly for the first time since the crash. She began her morning ritual by stretching and doing some sit-ups. She grabbed a water bottle from her stash and decided she needed to stop to see Sawyer at the caves so why not kill two birds with one stone? The run would be an excellent cardio workout. The run to the caves took her through some tough terrain and it was great for her legs. As she ran, she thought she heard something. What is that, she wondered aloud. Were those whispers? She tripped on an overgrown root and catching herself before she fell, she cursed.

"Damn it, Elle, keep your head on straight!"

whispers again…they are unclear but for a moment she thought she heard the word Karma

"What the hell…," she murmured, frozen in place, hands to her head.

Over rationalizing things, Elle figured she must have been dehydrated. That caused hallucinations right? But, c'mon, auditory ones? Leave that for the Doc, she laughed. She continued her run to the caves.

As she filled her water bottle from the spring in the cave, she was a bit apprehensive by the looks she received from some of the survivors. I guess I made a name for myself last night, she thought to herself. Something Sawyer told her came to mind. It's easier to be hated than loved. Let them sweat. She knew she would enjoy seeing them squirm. What did she owe them anyways?

Sawyer looked better and was being his typical wise ass self to the Doc. He greeted her with a "hi'ya, Gorgeous" and expressed his amusement as Jack took a step back when he saw her approach. She mischievously told Jack that she wasn't going to hurt him and the two shared an uncomfortable laugh.

"Looks like someone's been running from their past," Sawyer said to Elle.

Tensely, Elle replied, "Ah, yeah, something like that."

Sawyer knew quite a lot of people in his day. He was able to spot those running from something and those running towards something. With Elle, however, it's as if she was running in both directions at once. He empathized with her. When did he ever feel sorry for someone? His conscience spoke up. She runs like I con. She's running to ease her guilt. But what did she do? He had to find out. They were interrupted after all.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It was a day later, when Sawyer made his way back to the beach hoping no one raided through his stuff. He needed a cigarette or three after the hellish few days he went through. He was going through his stash when out of the corner of his eye he saw something shimmer. What the hell is that woman doing now? He thought to himself. He sauntered over to Elle who was sitting on a boulder with shards of bamboo and remains from the wreckage haphazardly scattered around her.

"So tell me, what other secrets are you hiding from me?" he teased.

Elle didn't even realize that Sawyer had approached her. As her hands worked the bamboo to form a crescent shape, she was thinking of only one thing, meat. She was sick and tired of eating fruit and her body was craving protein. Fish and sea urchin, albeit great with the herbs Sun had gathered on their walks throughout the jungle, were getting trite. She needed something to gnaw on and since she didn't see any chickens pecking their way around the beach, boar was her only chance at silencing the hunger pains. I don't even like red meat, she laughed to herself. However, if that bald man, what was his name? she thought to herself, if he could track the boar, then so could she. She could do many things when it came to survival. She worked best in a crisis. Food was scarce…if that wasn't a crisis, she didn't know what was!

Squatting down to her level, Sawyer made his presence known, the only way he could think of. Come to think of it, he knew another way too, but he didn't want to scare her, he only wanted to get her attention. As he gently kissed her cheek, Sawyer said,

"That's for the other day in the caves."

Elle jumped at the gesture. She was speechless. That was the second time she let her guard down, but this time she didn't take a fighter's stance. She relaxed her shoulders, smiled at Sawyer and said, 

"Jack just reminded me of someone from my past. Felt good to let him have it."

They shared a laugh and Elle said,

"Come to think of it," she said with a half smile, "I think I frightened some of the others up there that day."

"I get hotheaded sometimes," she said as she winked in his direction, "but I had the best of intentions."

"So, now that I have your attention," he said with a smirk, "what the hell are ya' doing?"

Elle declared,

"I'm hungry, Sawyer! I've been craving meat for the past few days and now that we know there are boar roaming freely on this island, I'm going to find me one and make some boar burgers!"

"Boar burgers?" he guffawed. "How do you plan on gettin' your pretty lil' hands on one of those piggies?"

"With these," she said matter-of-factly, holding up a makeshift bow, with arrows on hand.

"Well I'll be damned! I didn't know the gods provided us with our very own Artemis!"

It was all coming together now. When he first laid eyes on Elle, didn't he mention that she was sculpted by the Greek Gods? Now, with a bow and arrows in her hand, he loved every minute of it!

Elle just looked at him pondering his latest remark. Artemis, she thought. Why does that name sound so familiar?

"Tell me a learned woman like yourself, hasn't read the Iliad and the Odyssey?"

"Since you have this one over me, please continue." Elle digressed; upset she couldn't put a face to the name. Homer's epic was one of her favorites.

"**Artemis was the Greek Goddess of the Hunt. She was skilled with a bow and arrow and was known for her wildness. Kinda like you, darlin'. She came to the rescue of the sufferin'." **

**"Hmm, what else?" he said as his index finger bounced off his lips. A clever smile crept on his face. "Oh yeah, she was an eternal vir…"**

**"Virgin." Elle interrupted with sarcasm in her voice.**

**"Well, I didn't say you were her ****_exactly_****," he chuckled. Before he could continue, Elle stepped up to the challenge.**

**"I remember her now. She had a twin brother Apollo, right?" she asked him. **

**She didn't give him a chance to answer. She continued.**

**"Artemis gave up the married life to protect the helpless women and children. Why she would ask Zeus to bestow on her eternal virginity gets me every time! She never had any children of her own…" Elle seemed despondent. That's two things we don't have in common, she thought to herself. If only…**

**Sawyer seemed to have noticed that his compliment of Elle was going in the opposite direction than what he had intended. **

**"So, feel like having some company?" he asked switching back to their original topic.**

**"Something tells me we're havin' burgers tonight!" Sawyer sang. "Hell, I'd be willing to chip in some tiny bottles of liquor and fruit salad to your meal." **

**"That is, if you're up to the challenge, Artemis?" **

**Handing him his own bow and a sheath of arrows, Elle smiled. **

**"I figured I could teach you a thing or two," she said with a chuckle.**

**Sawyer didn't know what to say. She always seemed to surprise him. First, she handed the Doc his ass on a silver platter, not to mention rearranged his teeth some, and now, she went all Xena warrior princess on him! He was quick to agree; he enjoyed their time together. Plus this hike into the jungle o'mystery would prove fulfilling; maybe he'd get to know the intimates. They went off into the jungle, and you could hear Elle laugh when Sawyer mentioned how funny the look on Mr. Cleans' face would be if he saw the two of them barbecuing a boar. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**As Elle and Sawyer trekked through the jungle, they were engrossed in silence, minus various tree frogs and the buzzing of some flies scavenging some fallen fruit. Every once in awhile, Elle would point to a damaged shard of grass, pick up a clump of soil, and point in a direction that would steer them off their original path. The silence was eating through Sawyer like a guilty conscience. Enough of this, he thought. **

**"Heya' Artemis, where's a con learn to track like you?" he asked with a smirk.**

**Elle stopped dead in her tracks. Here it was, she thought, the moment of truth. She was not ready to bare her soul to him. Yes, he opened up to her, but she hated the idea of being vulnerable, especially around men. Look where it got me, she huffed to herself. **

**"The silent treatment again, huh?" he shrugged and stalked off ahead of her. He was muttering to himself, obviously ticked off. **

**"Sawyer, wait!" she cried off after him. "This isn't easy for me, you know!" **

**He was practically power walking, she laughed to herself. Boy sure gets offended easily. She caught up to him, grabbed his shoulder, and spun him to face her. **

**"Hey speed racer, let's just take it one question at a time. I'll give you the God's honest truth, but be careful what you ask for." **

**So, he asked her the question that was really burning him, like a fresh twenty-dollar bill in his pocket, just itching to be spent. **

**"What's got you so fired up lately?" he asked her as he lit up a cigarette. "I can see the fear in your eyes…especially the last few days."**

**Elle, taken aback by his question, stammered. For a brief moment, she thought he'd ask her if her breasts were real, or if she'd ever been to Disney land.**

**"You went right for the jugular!" she managed to get out. "Here I thought you'd start off easy on me."**

**Inhaling the sweet nicotine, Sawyer pulled the infamous letter out of his back pocket, and motioned to it. **

**"I carry this piece o'memory here knowing I may never find what I'm lookin' for. This letter reminds me every day that I killed an innocent man, making me a failure at just one more thing in my measly life." Sawyer continued. "Being trapped by this letter, by ****_him_****, is what I'm afraid of." Sawyer took a long drag of his cigarette and as he spoke, the words seemed to go up in smoke.**

**"I ain't askin' you to upset you, Lord knows you hurt already. I just figure if we're gonna be afraid of somethin', we could be afraid together."**

**He put out the cigarette with the heel of his boot and waited. It seemed like forever, but then she spoke up.**

**"I don't have a letter that I carry around with me. Some days I wish I had something more tangible to hold onto, besides my memories." **

**She looked him square in the eyes and asked him, **

**"You want to know what I'm afraid of, Sawyer?"**

**"I'm afraid that the little girl who was told she was nothing all her damned life, really is just that; nothing." **

**Elle began at the beginning as any good story does. She told him about being dragged in and out of the foster system, getting in trouble for fighting, skipping school to smoke behind the local church, and that she had killed, more than once. Seems her first kill was the product of self-defense too, but she didn't go into that one. **

**"That's a whole 'nother chapter, Cowboy." she met his eyes with her own stone-black gaze. **

**She finished up with how she had been caught in a web of deceit spun by Sully. She even told him about the night she lost her baby and how the love of her life turned out to be yet another bastard. **

**"I was a bad seed that grew into what you see right here, right now. I conned to appease the voices that told me I would never amount to anything. I conned to silence my one step-dad who used me as a punching bag. I conned because it was like sex without all the hang-ups." Elle continued to spew out her fears. **

**Sawyer just listened as they walked through the jungle. She was so adamant about being such a vile creature that he wanted to beat the ever-living snot out of those step-dads and that bastard Julian. **

**"You know what I have after all of that?" she asked, with a sad, sickening look on her face.**

**"Not a letter, not a scar, but eighty-four thousand dollars." She choked on her words. **

**"I killed a man for eighty-four thousand dollars, because I thought I was in love!" Elle began to cry. **

**"In love, Sawyer!" she spat out the words as if they were spoiled milk. **

**They stopped walking and Elle mustered the energy to regain her composure. Sawyer placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer her some form of comfort. **

**"More than you asked for, I know." she whispered. **

**"You're not ****_her_****, Elle." Sawyer began to offer. "A sensible and fine-lookin' woman once told me that all of our secrets and past were lost in the crash." **

**"Some of us," he smiled at her, "get to start over with the help of others." **

**Hoping to lighten the mood, Sawyer teased, **

**"Last time I heard a woman cry, it was thanks to a little malfunction in the love-making department."**

**Elle chuckled at his attempt at a joke. She wiped the last tear from her cheek, got an impish look in her eyes, and said,**

**"I couldn't possibly imagine that happening to you, Casanova." **

**Sawyer let out a laugh that seemed to come from the pit of his stomach. **

**"Casanova, you say?" he said with a smile. "Been called a lot of things in my day and that ain't one of 'em." **

**They shared a moment there in the jungle, just as they did a few days ago on the beach in his tent. It felt so comfortable to let it all out. She chocked this revelation up to a second chance at a new life. After all, she was that sensible woman with the sound advice. It's about time to make something right for herself. **

**Elle and her Casanova returned to the beachhead around dinnertime and they hadn't arrived empty handed. Turned out, the trail they were following before her meltdown led them to a wallow where a good-sized boar was making its camp. They surrounded the poor beast and both shot an arrow a piece. Sawyer's arrow missed, his aim seemed to be off most of the time, and Elle had to shoot another. No surprise there, Sawyer thought. Sawyer cornered the boar and finalized the kill. Elle squirmed at the sight of the blood. Ever since that night she killed Sully, she couldn't stand the sight of it! **

**A few of the other survivors circled Elle and Sawyer as they arrived. **

**"Bloody-hell, look at the size of that porker," Charlie commented. "Locke's going to be jealous when he sees that the two of you caught that!" **

**Sawyer and Elle exchanged a knowing look and shared another laugh. **

**"Anyone up for some burgers?" Elle asked the others.**

**"Burgers? Are you out of your bloody mind?" Charlie asked her. **

**"The woman's craving 'em, Chuckie." Sawyer snorted. "I wouldn't be getting in the way of a woman and her kill if I were you."**

**That night, they worked as a family. Sun and Jin seasoned the meat while Sawyer attempted to grind it up with some homemade tool. Charlie offered to help mold them into patties while Elle made her way to the caves. Along the way, she picked up Claire and told her about the little barbecue they were having. **

**"You caught a boar?" Claire seemed astonished. "The baby's been kickin' all day. I think it's getting tired of fish."**

**"Then again, maybe it's just me," she laughed.**

**"Well some protein will keep your strength up, hon. You gotta stay strong for your baby." **

**Elle knew how stress and a poor diet could damage the baby's chances. Seeing Claire and her belly sparked a bit of jealousy in Elle, but overall, she felt protective of her. Must be the Artemis in me, she chuckled. **

**Claire had been experiencing horrid nightmares, according to Jack, seemingly stress related. Claire felt alone, and knowing she was not going crazy, confided in Elle. She listened full heartedly and took pity on Claire. If anyone knew the reality of living your nightmares, it was Elle. **

**"You won't be alone tonight, Claire." Elle assured her. "Come to the beach with us and afterwards, I will keep watch over you at the caves."**

**Claire taken aback by Elle's offer was torn. She already had Charlie glued to her like peanut butter to the roof of the mouth and a doctor who looked at her as if she was batty. **

**"Is this some sort of Big Sister program where you take pity on the pregnant girl?"**

**"Funny you should say that," Elle smiled at Claire, "You remind me of a step-sister I once had. Strikingly familiar. She had baby blue eyes just like you. I would have done anything for her." **

**Claire just tilted her head to the side and bit her lower lip as she usually did when someone flattered her. Nodding to Elle, she promised to see her at the beach. **

**Seeing Claire off, Elle made her way to the caves. Sure enough, she saw Jack and Kate talking by his makeshift triage station. **

**"Hey guys," she began. "Sawyer and I caught a boar today and it just wouldn't be fair to let all that sweet meat go to waste." **

**Jack looked from Elle to Kate and back to Elle again. **

**"Wait, did you just say Sawyer and you caught a boar?" **

**"Yes! Why is that so surprising?" Elle asked.**

**"Because it's Sawyer!" Kate and Jack both exclaimed.**

**Elle silenced them with,**

**"You guys really shouldn't judge a book by its cover. You'd be surprised at the content."**

**"Take it or leave it. It's my way of making peace after the other day." Elle continued. **

**"Whether or not you decide to join us, I'm still having myself a burger." **

**With that said, she walked out of the caves and headed back to the beach. Her senses keen, she could smell the meat searing over the flames, and she heard laughter coming from the fireside. **

**Well, I'll be damned, she thought to herself. She saw Hurley flipping burgers and Charlie had brought out his guitar. **

**"Welcome back to the party," Sawyer greeted her, with a small airline bottle of vodka. **

**"Not your secret stash?" she chuckled. **

**"Must be that blue moon overhead." he joked. **

**His eyes seemed to grow larger as he looked over her shoulder. Jack and Kate were walking up the shoreline.**

**"Where'd you go earlier, anyways?" he asked coolly, as he eyed the newcomers.**

**"Callin' a truce with the Doc, are we?" **

**"Second chances, Sawyer." she responded. "Gotta start somewhere." **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Flashback (Elle age 19)**

**She was walking back to her loft when the hairs on the back of her neck began to stand up on their ends. Elle felt in her gut that she wasn't alone on that dark street, but she kept on walking. A few more feet and I'll be behind locked doors, she coached herself. ****_Ten_**** more steps and I'll be at the front door, she chanted. ****_Nine, eight, seven_****…****_six_**** more steps and she would have been safe. Six more steps and she could smell the whiskey on his breath. ****_Five_**** more steps and Elle had been shoved into her front door, the cold metal knob punching through her abdomen. She lost count. She lost her nerve for a split second. That's all she allowed. Fear was her friend. **

**"Don't scream. Do not say a single thing, sweetness. Just do as I say and we'll have all night to scream." The shadow whispered into her ear. She could have sworn she heard a sinister laugh as he pushed her up the stairs to her living room.**

**For the first time in her life, she was afraid. It was the fear that drove her to do what she did next. She followed his every direction while she was blindly walking the room, remembering each step they took. He never turned on the lights, but Elle knew her loft like the back of her hand. ****_Eight_**** steps from the front door to the couch. He threw her onto it like a rag doll. **

**"Sit there and don't make a move, bitch. I have to take care of something first." He said and he walked the ****_sixteen_**** steps to her tiny bathroom. **

**Good, she thought to herself, let him think I am weak. To her right, she knew she had an end table, and on it was her way out. She heard him in the bathroom and the moans she heard gave her the time she needed to pick up the letter opener and hide it underneath her shirt. She could have run for the door; he would have never heard her. The bastard was ****_enjoying _****himself in there. Why didn't she run? **

**I may be many things, she said to herself, but a runner I'm not. She had to take control and no man was going to take advantage of her. Boy did he pick the wrong girl, she laughed to herself. Her schoolyard scrapples and that encounter with her step-dad would prove it. Not good enough to make it, she laughed. I made it through his beatings, she thought with acid burning her throat. **

**She heard the toilet flush and the door open. She began to count his steps. She figured he was approximately 6' compared to her 5'8" stature. Her target was his throat. She counted his sluggish steps, ****_seven_**** more and he would be on her right hand side. She carefully enveloped the metal blade in her right palm. **

**_Six_**** more steps. Elle's heart began to race. **

**_Five_**** more steps. She thrived on adrenaline. **

**_Four_****…her breathing became steady. **

**_Three_****…her lips formed into a tightly drawn sneer. **

**_Two_****…she could smell him; the liquor and his sweaty stench made her stomach lurch. **

**_One_****…Elle closed her eyes for a split second, that's all she allowed for the fear to sink in, and then she sprung like a panther.**

**He never saw her coming. The quick slice of the blade to his jugular was all it took to catch him off guard. His blood, thick and warm, dripped onto her hand. She could smell his life draining from him as his liquored drenched breath escaped shallowly. **

**_One…_**

**_Two…_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11-Island (Next day)**

**Elle kept her promise to Claire. She had trekked back to the caves, to Sawyer's disappointment, and made camp near Claire's shabby bedding. Something woke Elle up and to her dismay, she saw Jack pestering Claire. **

**"All I want is for you to believe me, Jack. I am ****_not_**** crazy. Those dreams were ****_real_****." Claire was highly upset.**

**"Claire, honey…hey, hey, look at me," Elle said as she reached for Claire's hands. **

**"Jack, although he needs to work on his bedside manner," Elle said as she gave him a weary look, "would never put your baby in harm's way. A relaxer may just help a bit."**

**Claire wouldn't have it. Her emotions were unbridled and she began packing her belongings into her duffel bag. Claire stormed off to the beach. She didn't even notice Charlie as she brushed passed him. **

**"I don't know what to say," Jack began. **

**Elle cut him off. She knew how insane it sounded to Jack and the others that Claire was having somewhat all-too-real dreams, but in her gut, Elle believed her. **

**"Jack, you don't have to ****_believe_**** Claire, but you could have been easier on her. Pills, contrary to what I said, aren't always the answer."**

**"Where's Claire runnin' off to?" asked Charlie.**

**Elle and Jack explained to Charlie why Claire was so upset and before they knew it, Charlie had run off too. **

**"Just let her calm down a bit, Jack." Elle instructed. **

**She couldn't have gotten far, Elle thought to herself. **

**"Charlie will coax her back to the caves. You'll see, things seem to work themselves out." Elle said, trying to reassure Jack. On the other hand, was she really trying to reassure herself? **

**Jack, still awkward around Elle, realized she was probably right and thanked her for the assist. **

**"I was always told my bedside manner sucked."**

**"Whoever told you it sucked, Jack, was going easy on you." Elle chuckled.**

**Jack just shook his head as he watched Elle jog out of the caves, making her way back to the beach.**

**As Elle slowed her pace, she found herself near Sawyer's tent. Funny how I always end up here, she thought to herself. She found him reading a book, propped up against his shanty. He's been reading a lot, she thought to herself.**

**"Reading yet another trashy romance novel," she teased him.**

**"On the contrary, Brownie Bits," he smirked, "a farce." **

**"Seeing how I've been tied up to a tree in the jungle o'mystery, tortured, and stabbed, I think I earned a good laugh."**

**"Brownie Bits?" she asked, not hearing anything else that came out of his mouth. "Care to explain that one?"**

**"Aw, hell, darlin' ain't it obvious?" he smiled. "Those eyes of yours!" **

**Noticing her eyes had seemed lighter since their talk the other night; he still thought they were the color of fudge. Reminded him of the brownies he used to sneak from his mother.**

**"You're somethin' else, James." **

**Realizing she let his name slip out, she attempted to recover from her faux pas, but changed her mind. He ****_was_**** James around her. Around the others, well, he was his alter ego, Sawyer. **

**He marked his page with a matchbook and placed it on his lap. Smiling up at Elle, he spoke.**

**"Doesn't sound so foreign comin' from your lips." **

**Elle blushed. He was getting to her and well, it had felt good, to feel good. **

**"How's Mamacita doing?" he inquired.**

**"No nightmares last night, but this morning she was so upset with Jack…," she didn't get to finish.**

**"What did the Doc do this time?" he seemed genuinely sincere for Claire, she thought. **

**"Geeze, the mere mention of his name sends you into a frenzy, doesn't it?"**

**Continuing, she told Sawyer about the incident in the caves and explained how concerned she was for Claire. Mostly though, how she felt guilty about letting her just run off like that.**

**Playfully mocking her, Sawyer said, **

**"Wasn't it you who said you can't save everyone?"**

**"That was Jack! I never said I was anybody's hero, ****_James._****" The way she said his name seared him.**

**"No, Elle, no you didn't, but deep down, we all want to save someone." With that, Sawyer picked up his book, threw it into his tent, and stalked off.**

**Elle didn't have time to reflect on how much she upset Sawyer, because Hurley approached her asking her stupid little questions about why she was on the goddamn plane. **

**"So, dude...your name's Elizabeth Spanelli, originally from New Jersey, and you were on the flight because…," he managed to get out.**

**"You want the long version, or short?" she was running out of patience.**

**"Uh, the short?" he asked with a confused look on his face.**

**"I'm sorry, Hurley, I didn't mean to be so abrupt, I'm just worried about Claire."**

**Understanding her frustration and concern, Hurley told her that Claire was the reason he was doing this census. He blurted out that, one of the names he had gotten wasn't on the manifest he got from Sawyer. Hearing that, Elle became wary of the situation and gave him all her information. **

**"Hold up, Hurley," she said as she stopped him from moving on, "Did you just say that one of "us" wasn't on the plane?" **

**Stuttering, he was able to spit out that some guy, Ethan, wasn't on the manifest, but he had to get the news to Jack, and fast. **

**"Well, what the hell are we waiting for, let's go!" Elle shoved him in the direction of the caves and they ran off to tell Jack about the imposter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 16**

**Jack was tending to Sayid's injuries in the cave when Elle and Hurley crashed at his feet. Hurley and Elle were talking so fast, that Jack had no idea what they were saying.**

**"Guys…****_guys_****! Listen! Sayid needs my full attention, so either one of you spits out what is so damn important about the census, or you can wait your turn!" Jack was in the zone and wasn't about to lose control.**

**Hurley spoke up. **

**"I said there were forty-six of us that survived when we crashed. **I interviewed everyone. One of them isn't on the manifest. He wasn't on the plane."

"Who wasn't on the plane, Hurley?" Jack asked.

"That Canadian guy, Ethan…I thought his name was Lance, but it's Ethan."

Jack sprung up leaving Sayid on the ground. He turned to Elle and asked her if she had seen Ethan. Elle couldn't place the name with a face. Luckily, for Michael, they found out Ethan was heading out on some path through the jungle looking for timber.

It felt like Elle had the wind knocked out of her. Charlie had run after Claire. Claire was on her way to the beach. Oh, God, no, she thought to herself. If this was the creep who Claire was raging about, she had to do something. Elle turned on her heels and sprinted out of the caves with Jack in tow. They began screaming Claire and Charlie's names, but all Elle could hear was her own damn heart drumming in her ears. They ran for what Elle thought were a few miles when Jack tripped over something sticking out of the brush.

"That's Claire's duffel bag!" Elle exclaimed.

"Don't move Jack, you'll disturb the area." Elle directed as she began to scan the dirt and brush for clues.

"What are you doing?" Jack threw up his arms. "We need to find them!"

"I'm looking for tracks, Jack, please, just calm down."

Jack was pacing back and forth, his adrenaline pumping. Elle took notice of a struggle. She pointed out footprints, small and narrow, but they seemed to vanish from the others.

"Claire's…," she pointed to them, "the others could be Charlie's, but there was someone else here, Jack."

"Someone strong carried Claire away from here and they went off in that direction." Elle pointed West.

Jack took off with a vengeance. Elle ran after him, knowing what running from guilt looked like.

Awhile later, Locke and Kate found them. Boone was lagging behind. Elle brought them up to date with the facts. She didn't have many but it was Claire's only hope.

"Charlie's out there too," Kate reminded her.

"Yes, I know he is. But it's my fault she is out here in the first place. I promised her I would keep her safe…" Elle's voice cracked.

Jack moved towards Elle and put a hand on her shoulder, appeasing her guilt.

"It wasn't your fault, Elle. If I only believed her…if I didn't try to force her to relax…she wouldn't have left the caves. I didn't make it safe for her there."

"Guys, blaming yourselves isn't going to help us find them." Locke interjected.

"I think there are two trails here," Kate offered.

Elle agreed with Kate, amazed at her tracking skills. Three trackers were better than one. It was obvious the old guy knew what he was doing. What they found were clues here and there, perhaps something Charlie left behind?

"It could be a trap, Jack." Elle pointed out.

"She's right," Kate stated, "He could have set up a second trail to throw us off…doubling back on his own steps."

"So we split up." Jack pointed to the others.

They did just that. Locke and Boone went one way, while Elle led the doctor and Kate down the other trail. They never found Claire that day. What they found though, made Kate wretch. Charlie's lifeless body was swinging from a tree like a human piñata.

"How the hell did one person do that?" Elle screamed.

Jack took a hold of Charlie's body from the ground. Kate and Elle climbed up to cut him down. Charlie was the color of dusk, his throat swollen from the rope. Elle watched as Jack attempted CPR. When Jack's air supply ran out, he began to pound on Charlie's chest. The pounding was in harmony with Elle's heartbeat. She couldn't distinguish between the two. It was as if Jack was beating on her breasts.

She wanted to slap Kate, something, anything to stop her from crying. Crying never helped anyone. She found herself staring blankly at Charlie's body, the rope coiled around her hands, wringing it, repeatedly. She had killed before, but she had never seen such brutality. This Ethan, this monster, hung Charlie up, as if to say the joke was on them. He was probably watching them right now, taking pride in his kill. Elle had enough.

He's dead! she wanted to scream. Then she heard it. Coughing. Yes, that's what it was. Charlie was gasping for air. Perhaps there was hope after all. Jack saved Charlie that day, she didn't. She had to find Claire. When Charlie's better, she thought, I'll pry him for information. The small argument she had with Sawyer earlier, rang in her ears. She had told Sawyer that she wasn't anyone's savior. The doctor had the hero complex. His response to her, hit her hard, as she realized Claire was lost to her.

"_We all want to save someone." _


	13. Chapter 13

Island

Each morning since the day they found Charlie swinging from the tree of death, Elle would wake, pack her backpack, tie on the boots she scavenged from some poor woman who burned in the crash, and put her hair in a loose knot on top of her head. She went out every morning back to the spot where she first found Claire's footprints. The first morning she followed the same path they took that unfortunate day, hoping she'd find a loose strand of Claire's hair, or a sign that would lead her to wherever they took her. Elle would have welcomed a blade of run down grass or a broken leaf from the abundant aloe plants, but she found nothing on that path. Not a damn thing.

She would back track to the point of origin and head off in the opposite direction. What she found that way, was an abandoned spring, where she soaked her t-shirt, and wiped the sweat from her brow, took time to breathe for a moment or two, and headed back to the dreadful area where the girl that reminded her of her little stepsister was taken.

Thoughts ran through her mind like a hamster on a wheel. They would run and run but would never reach a destination. Just like how her tracking was a dead-end. What would they want with a pregnant girl? she thought to herself. Who the hell were _They_ anyway? Questions she didn't have the answers to. Elle despised not having answers. Why couldn't she track them? Why were they so good at covering their tracks? Why did she care for this girl so much?

Heading back for the third time, Elle found herself exhausted. Trying to push herself harder, she looked back on her past. She opened an enveloped memory she kept hidden along with snapshots of the good in her life. She saw Lily, with her bright cerulean eyes, swinging from their jungle gym, her golden locks bouncing. More questions ate at her insides. Did I do enough for Lily? she wondered. Did she have a good life, once they took her away?

How Elle wished they could have stayed together. No one wanted a teenager when potential families could have a sweet, innocent, child. She could remember the day when the social worker came to rip her family apart. Lily's eyes weren't shining, for her tears covered them like a fog. Lily's bouncy curls seemed to hang lifeless as she ran to her big sister. Elle hugged her for what seemed like hours, but in seconds, Lily was taken from her. She knew it was for the best. She had called social services on her own step-dad. She knew when the day came for her to leave, he would just turn his anger onto Lily, and she couldn't live with herself. She saved Lily. That's what she told herself.

She had to save _Lily_ again…this time, though, it wasn't as easy as picking up a telephone, or taking a striking hand to her face. It was as if Claire dissipated into the mist of this god-forsaken jungle. It was as if she wasn't meant to find her at all. The mere thought of that sickened Elle.

Elle, shoving her memories to the farthest cubby of her mind, trekked back to the beach. She had memorized the way and could do it with her eyes blindfolded. She counted forty-two steps from where Claire disappeared to two large boulders in the middle of the jungle. Fifteen steps from those markers to the papaya groves that marked the border that separated the beach from the jungle.

She counted the familiar sixteen steps to Sawyer's tent. Ever since he walked away from her on the beach that day, she would catch him glancing at her from his tent, watching her wake every morning. He would offer up a smile her way, but she ignored him. He offered one day to tag along but she was abrupt with him, telling him it was something she had to do alone. She regretted that now. Wasn't it Sawyer that told her, if they were going to be afraid, they could be afraid together?

She approached his tent, the nerves rattling her bones. She hated apologizing. She hated the way he made her feel. She hated the way he looked at her with those bottle green eyes. She hated feeling warm when it was so much easier to be cold, hardened, and aloof. She was about to turn around and head back to her own isolated tent, when she heard his voice, the bitter twang was distinct.

"If you're lookin' for a bit of compassion, 'fraid I'm fresh out."

His face was hardened like stone and his eyes just as cold. A cigarette dangled from his lips as he stood there waiting for her to walk away. Elle didn't budge. She expected him to be angry, but the one person she had hoped to talk to, disappeared. James wasn't anywhere to be found. He's looking for a fight, she thought to herself. Well, hell, so was she.

"That makes two of us." she threw her backpack onto the sand.

"Don't you do anything but sit on your damn ass?" she threw in his face.

"Are you too busy coming up with passive-aggressive comebacks that you can't spare some time looking for Claire?"

Elle was in Sawyer's face, tearing down his character one word at a time.

"You don't want to do this, Elle. I'm not afraid to hit a girl."

"Are you threatening me, Sawyer?"

"Ain't a threat, suga'." he promised her.

Something hidden, deep within her gut, awoke when she heard him call her sugar. Before he knew what hit him, Sawyer was knocked onto his back, Elle on top of him, laying into him a right hook.

He wrapped his legs around her, grabbed her fist mid swing, and pulled it into his chest. Head butting her, he twisted his body, so she was flipped onto her back.

"Now," he snarled, "that's how I like it." He had a mischievous grin on his face.

She began to fight him off, even attempted a nice head butt in the midst of it all, but he was prepared for her. He forced her arms above her head and kneeled over her writhing body.

"Get off 'a me," she spat at him.

She was so angry with him right now. She cursed him for holding her down, she blamed him for leaving her alone, and she told him that she hated him. She didn't even realize that she was crying. She never cried.

Relaxing his grip on her wrists, he wiped the sand from her cheeks. They were collecting there like paint spatter, her tears matted to her face.

"You don't hate me, darlin'," he said matter of factly, "you hate yourself."

"You blame yourself for Claire. You go out every mornin' on some ill-fated mission."

Elle had her hands over her face, unwilling to look him in the eyes. She let him go on because she couldn't find her voice.

"But hell if ya want my pity, for coming back empty handed, you ain't gonna get it."

"I…don't…want…," she began in between sobs, "your pity, James."

Elle didn't want anyone's sympathy. She was so full of regret that she felt she didn't deserve it. She wasn't a good person. Who was she trying to fool?

"What is going on in the stubborn 'lil head of yours when you're out there trackin' for Claire?"

She didn't answer him. He knew damn well what was going on in her mind. She was trying to save someone; he had called it from the beginning. That is why she was so angry with him. She hated him for understanding her.

"I ain't giving up on the little lady, Elle. I sure as hell ain't gonna give up on you."

Sawyer knew that the more days Claire was gone, the less likely it was for her to be coming back. Shit, he thought to himself, the less likely it was for her to still be alive. A small part of him hated thinking it and he couldn't say it to Elle. He already hurt her enough. He removed himself and helped her sit up. They sat there looking out into the vast ocean.

Elle was exhausted. She was emotionally drained and her head hurt something awful. Laughing aloud, she motioned to her head.

"You actually head butted me."

"I'ma plead self defense on that one, Artemis."

They sat there side by side as if they hadn't fought at all. Sitting in one another's silence remedied their wounds superficially. Realizing they needed more than just one another's company to heal their wounds, Elle suggested going to the caves for some assistance.

"Hell, woman, first you kick my ass, and now you want to go see the Doc? Ain't that enough torture for one day?" he jested.

"C'mon, I need something for this headache."

Attempting to stand up, Elle didn't realize how fatigued she was. Remembering she hadn't eaten more than a few pieces of fruit the last couple of days, she felt her legs wobble. The fight took the last of her energy.

"Whoa there, killa. Don't want you to pass out on me." he said as he scooped her up into his arms.

"We're some pair, huh, Sawyer?" she laughed. "My own personal knight comes to my aide, even after the stubborn princess kicks his ass."

Nodding in agreement, he began the walk to the caves. Hell, he thought, ain't a one of us heroes, but I could get used to this knight in shining armor shit.

Off in the distance, Charlie was dumbfounded. He turned to Hurley and shook his head.

"Those two are sodding mad."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 18- Island, days later**

**The atmosphere on the island was bleak. The search for Claire had dwindled. Locke and Boone were busy hunting boar, Michael had a crazy yet possible plan to build a raft, and the rest of the survivors kept busy with their normal routines. Anything and everything to keep their minds off Claire, Elle thought to herself. After her tussle with Sawyer a couple of days ago, she kept to her normal routine, sans searching for Claire. She had a sickening feeling that all was lost and there wasn't anything more she could do. Wish I had a magic eight ball to find the answers, she scoffed. ****_Child's play; that's all that wishing was. _**

**She waded in the ocean, rinsing out her clothes, getting lost in the ebb and flow of the tides. She put her laundry into a carryall she managed to find when they crashed and headed back to her tent. She hung her clothes over a wire she secured from the branches of a tree adjacent to her tent. Better than nothing, she thought, as she crawled into her tent and laid down. She was hoping to get some rest, but Sawyer interrupted her. **

**"Interested in a trade, Brownie Bits?" he asked.**

**Knowing she didn't have much to barter with, besides wit, she replied,**

**"Your sales pitch lacks something to be desired." **

**Crouching by the entrance of her tent, he held out his hands. In them he had some hotel sized shampoos and a bar of soap. **

**"What?" she asked him, "You want me to wash your hair?"**

**Pulling a few strands to his face, he gave them a whiff, and shrugged. **

**"I've gone longer, but hey, if you're offerin'." **

**Rolling her eyes, she sat up, and said, **

**"What do you really want, Saywer?"**

**"Just figured you could use some," he pointed to her clothesline, "for your laundry."**

**"Hell, maybe you could wash your hair and mine." he teased.**

**"Have you looked in a mirror lately?"**

**He knows very well, I haven't, she thought to herself. Tousling his hair, she pushed him over in the sand, scooped up the fallen items, and pocketed them. Thanking him for his kind gesture, even though he implied she was a mess, she challenged him.**

**"Catch me if you can, James." **

**Running off towards the jungle, she headed towards the abandoned spring she found while searching for Claire. As she was sprinting, she noticed that Sawyer was nowhere in sight. Probably stopped for a cigarette, she chuckled. She heard a rustling in the leaves a few feet ahead of her. Wondering if he had actually gotten ahead of her, she called out.**

**"Sawyer, is that you?" **

**With no answer, except for the crunch of the brush ahead, she moved on. She thought she caught a glimpse of something. What is that, she wondered.**

**Following the rustling, she stumbled upon something unforeseen. With her back turned to Elle, a little girl stood there, motionless. Her golden hair, hung in curls. Elle stood there, frozen, not with fear, but with anticipation. It couldn't be, she thought to herself. When she turned to face Elle, her eyes screamed royal blue.**

**"Lily?" Elle whispered.**

**The little girl giggled, ran up to Elle, tapped her tiny hand onto her arm, and ran off into the jungle. As if saying, ****_tag, you're it_****, Elle ran after her, shouting her name. She saw Lily dot past a tree, the same tree she found Charlie hanging from. When she ran towards the tree, she saw that the little girl dropped something. Peering down, Elle squatted and picked up a small beaded bracelet. This is Lily's, she thought to herself, I would know it anywhere. **

**"Lily! Lily!" she shouted, "Where did you go?"**

**Turning the bracelet over in her hand, Elle screamed. Instead of Lily's name, there was a word, such a horrible word. **

**"Karma!" Elle choked. **

**"Is this some kind of sick joke?" **

**She heard whispering coming from the four directions and amongst it, she heard Lily giggle. What she saw next didn't startle her at all. Lily reappeared around the corner and motioned for Elle to meet her. The little girl spoke.**

**"I've missed you, big sis." Lily hugged her tiny arms around Elle's waist. **

**Elle was speechless. She felt so warm, so real, how could it be?**

**"I'm dreaming," Elle said without knowing. **

**"No, silly goose, you're eyes are wide open."**

**"I don't understand," Elle stammered, "how is this possible?"**

**Lily hugged her tighter and told Elle something she'd never thought she'd hear.**

**"You saved me from him, you know. That's what a big sister does."**

**She continued as Elle squatted down to face her, stroking the little girl's cheeks. **

**"Not all Karma is bad, silly. Just like you're not bad." **

**"What do you know about Karma, you're only five." **

**"I know a lot of things," she whispered.**

**Elle began crying, oh God how she hated to cry. Somehow, these tears tasted sweet.**

**Lily kissed Elle on the forehead and began to skip into the jungle. As Elle watched her go, Lily could be heard singing, **

**"She'll come back to you." **

**Elle ran after her little sister, the bracelet clutched in her fist. She ran towards something, someone, that wasn't even there. She wasn't even looking where she was going, when she ran smack into Sawyer. **

**"Where's the fire, sweetness?"**

**"Did you see her!" Elle didn't ask. **

**"Who? Claire?" **

**Sawyer didn't know what was going on. Elle panicked, as if she had just lost something, and her life depended on it. **

**Elle stopped short. Remembering what Lily said to her when she skipped away, she turned and faced Sawyer. **

**"Claire's back." **

**"Yeah, darlin', yeah, I know. That's why I was running here as fast as I could."**

**Sawyer began to calm Elle down. He told her that after she had run into the jungle, he was about to chase after her, when there was a commotion on the beach. He stopped Jin, Lord knows why, he didn't speak much English, but he understood one distinct word-Claire. He said Jin was shouting it repeatedly and pointing Sawyer toward the caves. **

**"The end, you know. I came running here for you."**

**"Who were you runnin' after?" he questioned her.**

**"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."**

**"Try me."**

**With that, she began walking towards the caves. Sawyer took three steps and was in stride with her. Elle took his hand in hers and slipped him something. She didn't say a word. Sawyer opened his hand and in it, he saw a bracelet too small to be Elle's. **

**"Karma?"**

**Elle just nodded and once again took his hand in hers. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 19- Island**

**Claire was unrecognizable. Her blue eyes were puffy and barren as if she was crying for days. On her face was permanent fear, for she didn't recognize any of them. Worst off, she didn't remember anything besides being on a plane. Jack tried his best to keep her calm, refreshing her memory, but she was still frightened. **

**"What did they do to her?" Elle asked Jack, hoping the doctor would give her some well-needed answer. **

**She was thinking the worst and hearing the medical jargon would numb her thoughts. Jack mentioned something about amnesia, which could result from a victim being traumatized. Elle heard dehydrated and rushed off to get Claire some water from the spring in the cave. She felt like a robot, going with the motions, following the doctor's orders. The baby was fine; from what he could distinguish without any equipment, that is. Jack suggested that Elle try to talk to Claire. The more she heard, the more familiar she'd become with her memories. **

**Claire didn't recall them being friends. Elle told her about the big cookout they had down on the beach, how Claire joked that Elle was her big sister, and Elle even brought up Lily's name, thinking something would spark her mind. Unfortunately, none of it did. Claire just listened and shook her head no; she apologized for not remembering her. **

**"It's ok, Claire. I promised you then that I'd watch over you and I'm going to keep that promise."**

**Claire just looked at her with a confused look in her eyes. Finally she spoke.**

**"To make a promise like that, you must have cared."**

**"I want to trust you. I want to believe you. I really want to remember."**

**Charlie offered Claire her diary that she wrote passionately in since the day the crashed. He mentioned how he thought reading her own thoughts would help her recover. Claire seemed willing to trust Charlie and multiple times, she'd ask Elle if they were "a couple." Elle told her that he had taken to her and would watch over her. Elle used the word smitten to describe his affection for Claire. **

**Claire didn't appreciate all the stares she received from the other survivors. She couldn't remember a damn thing, but the feelings in her, were clear. She was feared. They all looked at her as if she was tainted.**

**"It's like I'm bad luck or something," she scoffed. **

**Elle told her about how she was kidnapped. She told her about how they found Charlie and how they never found her. **

**"None of us understand why you were taken or how you came back to us."**

**"When people don't have answers to one of life's greatest questions, they tend to fear the unknown."**

**She reassured Claire, told her it would come back to her in time. She reminded her that she had to remain calm for the baby. Elle would tell her stories of how she would go out into the jungle looking for her. How she dreamt of her little sister who reminded her of Claire and how Claire just reappeared. Claire questioned her about Lily.**

**"I don't know if I was dreaming or delirious from the heat, but she came to me and told me that you'd be back. That I didn't lose you. That it wasn't my fault."**

**"I don't blame you. From what you told me, I'm the bull-headed one who left the caves to begin with." **

**Here I am feeling guilty and she calls herself stubborn, Elle thought to herself. She must have laughed because she heard Claire ask her, "Was it something I said?"**

**"You're a lot calmer than I'd be in your situation." **

**Elle put a hand on Claire's shoulder and gave her a tight squeeze. Asking her if she wanted to accompany her to the beach, Claire declined. **

**"Well, in that case, you think you can manage to stay put?" she teased. **

**"I want to get a few of my things from my tent. I really don't want to leave you alone."**

**"Elle, please, I'm a big girl. I learned my lesson. I'm just going to lay down for a bit. He's really kicking." Claire rolled her eyes as she rubbed her stomach. **

**"Running a marathon, he is."**

**Realizing what she said, Claire took a deep breath. **

**"I guess we both were running from something."**

**On her way out of the caves, Elle ran into Jack and told him that she'd be back shortly, and if he could keep an eye on Claire, she'd be forever grateful. He wasn't used to the compassionate Elle and it shown on his face. **

**"Might want to close your mouth, Doc. You'll catch flies." she joked.**

**He laughed and apologized. Told her exactly what he was thinking. Figured he should be honest from the get-go, seeing how hot tempered she could get. He knew what it was like to want to protect someone and that people would go to extremes. It's a hard game to play. Someone always loses out. Usually it was him.**

**"I like playing the honest game, Jack. It's just hard playing to win. Everyone likes to take the easy way out, and believe me; I've had my share of the low roads. But a little girl once told me that I wasn't bad…and you know what?" **

**He shrugged his shoulders and said, **

**"No, what?"**

**"I'm just starting to believe her." **


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 20-Same day**

**Poor Charlie, Elle thought. He gets strung up by his neck, loses the girl of his dreams, only to be threatened again by the infamous Ethan. They were planning to beat him at his own game. They weren't going to let him get his filthy hands on Claire again. Elle pitied Charlie. He didn't want to see her get hurt again, nor did he want to see her being used as bait to the carnivorous beast, Ethan. Neither did Elle. **

**They were going back to the jungle. Armed with the pistols from the Halliburton case, Sayid, Locke, Jack, Sawyer and Kate would guard over Claire from different stations in the jungle. Where did that leave Elle?**

**"There is no way in hell, that I'm not going to be part of this," she spoke up amidst their chatter. **

**Sayid stopped talking and looked at her with concern in his eyes. Contrary to his eyes, his voice was stern. **

**"You are too emotionally involved, I'm afraid."**

**"Aren't we all?" she countered. **

**Elle proceeded to speak her mind. She pointed out that each one of them were too involved, emotionally or not. She pointed out how Jack wanted revenge on Ethan for what happened to Charlie, how Locke needed tangible evidence that there was something evil on this island he called a gift, how the only reason Jack invited Sawyer on this escapade was the fact that he could use a gun. **

**"No offense, Sawyer." **

**"Please, darlin', I've been used for worse," Sawyer gave her an all too knowing smirk. **

**The one person she didn't expect to speak on her behalf was Kate. Nevertheless, the island held its share of surprises, and so did Kate. **

**"Boys, I don't see why we couldn't use a sixth. Sawyer said so himself, Jack, five guns were better than four." **

**Elle gave her a thankful nod, as Jack spoke up saying that the guns were the problem.**

**"We only have five guns, Kate."**

**"What do you suggest she should use? A rock?"**

**Sawyer laughed aloud, walked over to Elle, and lifted her up and spun her around. **

**"Better! Jack-ass, the woman's an archer!"**

**"Put me down, James," she whispered into his ear as she nuzzled his neck.**

**"You know how to use a bow?" Locke seemed intrigued as he approached Elle.**

**"I've been known to dabble."**

**Sawyer began bragging how he found Elle the one day whittling away on arrows and how she taught him to use the bow. He told them that's how they caught that boar that everyone had warming their stomachs. The others seemed so amused by his storytelling that they didn't hear Elle.**

**"So, does that mean I'm in, or what?"**

**Jack looked at Sayid for approval. Locke offered that the more skilled people they had out there, their chances at cornering Ethan, improved. Agreeing that Elle should join, they went to tell Claire their plan.**

**Despite Charlie's protest, Claire was prepared to face whatever may come her way. She didn't remember anything, but she knew that Ethan kidnapped her and had killed one of them because they refused to hand her over. She felt responsible and wanted to right the wrongs. Elle guaranteed Claire's safety, along with the others. **

**They headed into the jungle where the mysterious Ethan first took Claire. Tumultuous rains began to fall as they took their posts. Elle could see Claire clearly, despite the sheets of rain that were falling. The sound of the rain echoed throughout the jungle, bouncing off the trees, falling to the pitter-patter of Elle's own heartbeat. Within minutes, Ethan appeared out of nowhere. He began to run after Claire and Elle could see the fear on her face. Claire's screams rose like thunder. To her amazement, Jack ran after Ethan and began to pummel him into the muddied ground. **

**Running towards Claire, Elle and Locke got to her first. They barricaded her with their bodies like shields. **

**"Claire, are you alright?" Locke asked her.**

**She nodded yes, and clutched Elle's hand. Her nails dug into her palm. **

**"I remember him…he did things…my baby…," Claire's words stumbled out, incoherently to Elle, but crystal clear to Claire. **

**Seeing the panic on Claire's face, Elle's blood ran like lava. She was going to erupt and she knew of only one way to take control. She dropped her bow, along with the sheath of arrows, to the ground, and took off towards Ethan. She could hear Locke screaming her name but she ignored him. Ethan muddied like a pig, was surrounded by Sawyer and Jack. They saw her coming towards them and she heard Sawyer say to Ethan,**

**"Oooh-wee, jungle boy, looks like we got another taker!"**

**Sawyer, along with Jack took a step back, and Elle kicked Ethan square in the jaw. His neck twisted and blood spewed from his mouth. He landed flat on his back with his arms raised defensively. Before she could take another hit, she felt Jack pulling her back. She was fighting him off, her legs kicking like a child, when he let her down near Sawyer. Sawyer took her into his arms,**

**"Shh, shh, there Artemis. You'll have all the time in the world to torture…" **

**Rolls of thunder cut off Sawyer's words. To everyone's amazement, Ethan lay sprawled on his back, holes in his chest. They looked in the direction of the shooter and there stood Charlie, a smoking gun, shaking from his hand. **

**_It wasn't thunder. It was revenge that they heard, bittersweet revenge. _**


	17. Chapter 17

Elle needed a break. What I need, she thought to herself, is a damn shower. She had just run about a quarter of a mile on the beach when she saw Michael. His newest hobby, _the raft to save them all_, was being built at a remarkable speed. She decided to stop by and see how things were going. She didn't talk to Michael often. She much rather spend her time talking to his son. She felt sorry for Walt, his relationship with his dad, seemed distant and she knew how that felt.

"Hey Michael," she had to catch her breath, "think she'll float?"

"Hoping, but we'll see for sure in a few days. We're heading out soon."

Elle didn't hear about anyone else braving the waters with Michael. He had sparked her interest. She had no desire to take a spot on the raft. Come to think about it, she didn't have any desire to leave the island. It was her second chance, right?

"How many can it fit?"

"Four spots, all taken. My son and myself, Jin, and unfortunately, your boy, Sawyer."

Elle was caught off guard. Did he just say Sawyer was going on the raft? He has to be mistaken. Sawyer would have told her. Why didn't he tell her?

Elle laughed aloud.

"I'm sorry, did you say Sawyer?"

"Yeah, he had supplies I needed…bartered a spot on the raft."

Noticing that Elle was shocked and a bit upset by his news, he tried to change the subject. Elle wasn't really paying attention to him. She had to go talk to Sawyer and she had to talk to him now. She waved Michael off and headed for Sawyer's tent.

Sawyer was exiting his tent, wearing only jeans, his tanned chest beaded with sweat. Elle was distracted. I thought his smile was inviting, she mumbled to herself. Seeing her approach, he gave her his biggest grin and spoke.

"Hot enough for ya, Brownie Bits?"

He told her that he was going for a swim and asked her along. She forgot all about why she had come to his tent in the first place. Thinking back to how she really wanted a shower, a swim might just do justice. Agreeing to tag along, she told him about a spring she had found when she was searching for Claire. She loved the ocean, but the waves lately were rough and she hadn't really swum in it since that girl died the first week they were on the island. In addition, it was secluded and she felt it'd be a good place to just get away from all the drama lately.

"You're not trying to seduce me," he smirked, "because if you are, I'm game."

She playfully shoved him and told him she had to get a towel. Dismissing her idea, he reached into his tent and gave her one of his own.

"Sun's prime and you're mine."

"Ain't no use wastin' time."

Wrinkling her nose at Sawyer, she criticized him on his poor rhyming semantics.

"Do the ladies really fall for that?" Sarcasm dripped from her tongue.

"I don't know 'bout the _ladies_, but it got you, didn't it?" he smirked back.

Together they trekked to the unforgettable spot where Claire was taken and finding a branch she tied a piece of her t-shirt on, pointed them in the opposite direction. Sawyer had his arm around her waist and began to tease her about the secluded spring. Elle laughed lightly and mentioned she heard a funny story from Michael earlier. Curiosity always got the best of Sawyer so he bit.

"Heard you bought yourself a spot on his raft."

Sawyer didn't say a word. Why did he feel like he had been duped into coming to this deserted spring? Man, she really had me going. Thought she was actually interested in a swim, he thought. Hell, I thought she was interested in me.

"That isn't even the punch line, wait for it," she chuckled.

"Elle," he started, his eyes downcast, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear.

"You didn't even tell me you bought a one way ticket on that death trap."

Stopping she turned to face him and laughed. She asked him why he wasn't laughing, knowing very well that the joke was on her all along. She shook her head at him and for a split second he felt like he was little James again, after he brought a stray in one day. She would have made a great mother, has that disappointed look _down pat_!

"If you have somethin' to ask me, do it. I got a swim date to get to."

"All this time, I thought we had something." she began.

"I never felt closer to anyone, especially on this damn island. You have some sort of hold over me, damn it! And what? You can't even have the decency to tell me that you're going to leave?"

Elle was so angry. She wasn't angry at him really. She was angry with herself once again. She failed to notice that she was just another pawn in a stupid con. What he wanted from her, she didn't know. What she did know, was that he was going to get on that raft and leave her. It made her sick to her stomach. She walked off towards some bushes and retched into them. Wiping her mouth, she spat,

"You make me sick."

Sawyer couldn't help but laugh at that. She looked so damn cute even when she was berating him. He walked towards her with his arms out. She looked at him as if he was crazy. She was so frustrated with him right now and he's laughing at me, she thought to herself.

"You're laughing. Why are you laughing?"

"I wish all women got angry like you…it looks good on ya." he winked at her.

"I'm not kidding, James, don't come near me." she had faltered.

God, how he gets to me! Elle couldn't help but smile a bit. Shaking it off, she tried to regain her composure, she was angry with him, right? She stood up and began to walk off towards the spring. She could hear him following behind her, striking a match against the trunk of a tree. He lit his cigarette and inhaled. Exhaling, he shouted her way,

"We still goin' for that swim, darlin'?"

"I sure as hell am…don't care what you do."

"That's a lie and you 'n I both know it."

They went for a swim that day; however, neither of them got what they went there for. Sawyer didn't get a good romp in the water. Elle didn't get to hear that it was all a joke; that he wasn't going on that raft. He was going and he would have done it, having known her or not. Thinking back on what she yelled at him, it tattooed his heart. _He didn't have the decency to tell her he was leaving._

He opened up to her as they floated, the cool water putting out the angry fire that surged through her body. He told her about his life as a kid. How when he was eight years old, a man conned his mother and took them for all their money. His father put a bullet in his mother and then one in himself. He was under the bed the whole time it happened. When they found him, he was crawled in the fetal position, his jeans soaked with urine.

"That was the day James died."

"I ain't eva been the same."

Sawyer took a deep breath and sunk into the water. He swam for a bit and resurfaced to find Elle leaning on some rocks, her face to the sun. He just watched her. _"I ain't the only one who has a hold ov'a someone."_ he thought to himself. Swimming towards her, he splashed her. She looked at him and he saw that she had tears in her eyes.

"Aww, hell, I made you cry again."

He wiped her eyes and she just shook her head, scooted back into the water and swam past him.

"Go, James."

"I ain't leavin' you stranded out here alone." Thinking she had meant the spring, he swam out to meet her. She was treading water, ripples making their way to meet him.

"Yeah, yeah James, you are."

With that, Sawyer realized what she had meant. He slowly made his way closer to her, their chests nearly touching. As they treaded lightly, he reached for her face with his right hand and pushed her hair back from her face. She took his face in her hands and they both leaned in. Their lips made contact and Elle could have drowned in its sweetness. He tasted like menthol and mangoes. Sawyer tasted the salty tears that landed on her lips; tears she wept for him leaving but it was more than that. She wept because she knew he had a death wish and she couldn't stop him from going. For that moment in time, Sawyer regretted taking a spot on Michael's damn raft.


	18. Chapter 18

Elle didn't know what to do with herself. She was torn between choosing whatever time she had left with Sawyer and just letting him go. She found herself in need for girl talk and found Claire sitting alone on the beach, staring out into the waters. She sat down besides Claire and together they sat in silence for awhile, allowing the water to touch their toes.

"The sand can nev'a just stay, can it?" Elle asked Claire, her voice poignant.

"I guess not, but then again, all things, big or small, must leave us." Claire said pointing to her belly.

"Soon, this bloody lump will disappear like the sand, and I'll have another lump to deal with."

Elle laughed a little, pointed towards a man in the distance, and said,

"Yeah, soon that lump will be leaving too."

Claire looked over and noticed Sawyer, his tanned torso, gleaming in the sun, hauling bamboo reeds towards the raft. Elle's usually good at making a joke, she thought to herself, this time she failed to hit the mark.

"Something's off with you today," Claire remarked, "you want to talk about it?"

Elle really did want to talk about it, but she didn't know where to begin. She started out angry, telling Claire she felt like the biggest idiot known to man, falling for Sawyer, the island's very own Beverly Hillbilly. She raged on about how similar they were, which startled Claire a bit, the look in her eyes gave it away. Elle didn't elaborate, but told her that she would fill her in on her life story when Claire was going through labor, to take the edge off. Claire found that hilarious but told her that she hoped labor wasn't that long! Elle continued to compliment Sawyer on his ability to be so sweet and compassionate. He was even lovable.

"Lovable!" Claire gasped.

Elle hadn't realized the word lovable escaped her mouth. Quick to recover, she quipped,

"It's the southern drawl," she laughed, "he could melt butter."

"Besides you, he's the only one I've really grown attached to, and I get slapped in the face."

Elle continued to rattle off his traits, what made her crazy, like the fact he is so different with her than he is with the others, the fact that each time they share a skeleton from their pasts, he shuts down on her...

"Oh, wait," Elle stopped short, "that's me."

The two of them laughed and chatted away on all things Sawyer that afternoon. Claire was great at listening, but even more so, she was great at the advice. She told Elle that good things don't come along often and when you get that chance, take it. It may be true that not all good things last, but while they did, it was memorable. She told Elle not to ignore Sawyer, because she'll go through withdrawal.

"Quite honestly, you might be scary if you go through southern withdrawal," teased

Claire.

Claire felt the baby kick and quickly grabbed Elle's hand.

"He thought that his Mama was funny," as she placed Elle's hand on her belly.

Feeling the baby kick, Elle gasped. She reeled back her hand and jumped to her feet. She never was able to feel her baby kick, she thought to herself. At once, her mood turned dark and she bolted towards her tent. She could barely hear Claire shouting after her,

"Elle, Elle, what did I say?"

Elle found herself rummaging through her belongings. Books and clothes scattered amongst her tent. A solitary tear ran down her cheek as she looked at the picture she clutched in her hand…

Her first sonogram, black and white, smudged at the edges.

(later that day)

Claire was having such excruciating pains and the one person she wanted to be there, she scared off. Elle never came out of her tent since their talk on the beach. Claire wondered what she had done, or said, but all she could remember was the little bugger kicking. I don't know why a bloody kick would scare someone off, she thought to herself. Now he was kicking and the pains were coming every ten minutes. She knew he was coming out and all she wanted was for him to stay in. Claire never thought she'd make a good mother, in fact, neither did the psychic who sent her on the doomed flight 815. She saw Sawyer taking a break from working on the raft and she thought about her conversation with Elle. Amazed at how he had such an affect on Elle, she forgot about her pain for a moment. She made her way to the jungle. I just have to walk it off, she lied to herself.

Elle heard prattle on the beach. There had been an accident, while Locke and Boone were hunting boar. The poor kid was injured. His blood soaked Locke's shirt. Elle emerged from her temporary lapse of sanity and began to sprint towards the caves. Sawyer caught her arm and told her she didn't want to see it. Boone was in bad shape and he knew how she hated the sight of blood.

"Let the Doc handle it," he suggested, "come sit with me and tell me why you ran from Claire earlier."

"The little mama is concerned," he told her with a worried look in his eyes.

"You should have seen the pain in her face," he took a breath, "like she was in actual agony."

Elle's senses were keen. She's having contractions, she thought to herself. Didn't Jack tell her that Claire was due any day now? She asked Sawyer where he last saw Claire, and how long ago that was. Sawyer was tense. He got a sickening look on his face as Elle told him that Claire might have been going into labor.

"Aw, shit," his face paled, "I'll be damned."

Kate came running out of nowhere, her breath erratic. Between gasps for air, she was direct in her request,

"Sawyer, I need all your alcohol and fast."

Sawyer ran to his tent while Kate and Elle ran along side one another. Kate told her that she had never seen someone like Boone, as he was crushed and beaten. They asked Kate if the Doc needed any more help, but she just gave them a small smile and tilted her head,

"Too many cooks, but thanks."

Elle managed to ask Kate if she had seen Claire up at the caves, maybe she went there to see Jack. She hoped she did anyways. Kate told Elle that she hadn't seen Claire, but she may have been in the caves, things were hectic.

"What the hell is going on?" Sawyer exhaled a ring of smoke, passing his cigarette to Elle.

She took a deep drag and with her lips taut said,

"Seems we can't eva' have the good without the bad."

Sawyer and Elle never went to visit Boone and they never found Claire. They sat on that beach until Elle fell asleep in Sawyer's arms, her breath in sync with the rise and fall of his chest. There they slept where the immense man in the moon, watched them as a protective father watches his children. The following morning, as the sun rose and singed the ocean, Sawyer nudged Elle awake. She awoke, shielding her eyes for a moment, and they shared that sunrise together. Elle mentally took a photograph of the moment and tucked it to the back of her mind. Sawyer whispered to Elle and she turned to look up the beach. There was Claire, walking with Kate, a small bundle in her arms.

A crowd gathered around Claire and her new arrival. Elle and Sawyer made their way to peek at the baby. As they walked up the beach, Sawyer could sense the tension in Elle's steps. She was gripping his hand tightly and he could feel her body shake.

"I don't think I can go through with this, James." she was barely audible.

Elle stopped walking and looked at Sawyer and he could see that her dark eyes became even darker. He could see her eyes clouded by the memories of her miscarriage and the pain she endured and his heart ached for her. Normally, his heart only ached for the loss of his mother and father; it ached for the boyhood he lost. It ached for revenge. Now, it ached for Elle, and that prevailed over the pain he endured. He cared for her, more than he cared for liquor and loose women. His heart and mind were in tandem; he couldn't be conned by them. He truly cared. Damn woman, he smiled to himself.

"We'll do it togetha'…" he told her.

So they did. Elle found herself nearing Claire and she could hear the cooing of the baby. Her stomach turned and her heart was caught in her throat. Claire saw them approaching and as the crowd made way for them, she tucked the blanket under the baby's miniature chin. His eyes were blue like the sky that day and his face was cherubic. Claire reached for Elle and motioned for her to come closer. Elle was motionless until she felt Sawyer's palm on the small of her back. He gave her a slight push and whispered that it would all be all right. With a tear slowly running down her face, Elle stroked the little boy's face. Reaching up, his tiny hand found her index finger and grabbed on tight. Claire noticed Elle's reaction and looked at her with kind eyes.

"He's found a friend," she laughed quietly, "like mother like son."

"He's beautiful, Claire," Elle quietly stated, "like mother like son."

Later on that day, Elle and Sawyer went to see Claire. They found the baby asleep in the cradle Locke made Claire. She was gently rocking it, her gaze permanently on her son. Elle felt like opening up to Claire, but she was hesitant. She told Sawyer that she lost her baby after killing a man, but she never spoke about her emotional breakdown. How would Claire react, she wondered.

"I owe it to Claire," she told Sawyer, "after running from her earlier."

Sawyer was there for support, she never asked him to come along. He offered to sit there, to be there for her. Elle did not turn him down. She was grateful that he was there. Sawyer cradled Elle, her back rested upon his chest, as she told Claire all about that night she lost her baby and what caused it. Claire listened to Elle, her eyes rounded at the horror story, her eyes dimmed at the mention of Elle's miscarriage, her eyes brightened as she spoke to Elle…

"All things, small or big, bloody fade away, Elle."

"It's our memories that keep them alive and close. Remembering is key."

Claire, a distant look in her eyes, seemed lost in her own thoughts. Elle realized that Claire didn't remember much, but she still had hope. She finally spoke up and gave Elle a knowing look in Sawyer's direction and then to her own son. Big or small, they will both change and fade away, she said. Her son will no longer be this obscenely adorable little lump, but grow up into a man. Sawyer might not always be a wanker, he may get on that bloody raft, but he'll always be the man Elle found lovable. It's what we make of the time we have with them.

Sawyer coughed and interrupted Claire's speech.

"Did I hear the little lady say I was lovable?" as he twisted Elle to face him. Elle just shrugged and laughed as she heard Claire answer.

"The southern drawl," Claire chuckled, "makes her knees weak."

As he kissed Elle, Sawyer spoke, his words cloaked in that southern twang,

"Get's 'em every time."


	19. Chapter 19

Elle's body needed a rest. Sawyer kept her up all night again not that she was complaining. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination, she laughed when Claire's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute of it, her eyes glowed, but if I don't take a breather, I think I may break in two. Claire welcomed the distraction. She had Charlie watching her every move and telling her that she needed rest.

"I wish he'd bloody leave me alone," she exasperated, "I know what's good for me and my baby."

Sure enough, there Charlie stood, shaking his head at the two of them like a disapproving father.

"Elle, I think it'd be best if you let Claire rest a bit, instead of talking her ear off."

Before Elle could muster a response, Claire lifted her baby from his cradle, squared her shoulders, and told Charlie she wouldn't _mind_ having her ear talked off if the topic was sweaty island sex. What she did mind, was his bossing around. Charlie stood there with his mouth agape. He stuttered an apology and asked if he could watch turnip head for a bit while they continued with their _girly stuff_.

"Turnip head?" Claire asked with distaste in her voice.

"Well, you haven't named the little bugger yet, and no offense, but his head does look like a turnip." Charlie lowered his gaze to the sand to avoid the daggers in Claire's eyes.

Elle watched the two, laughing to herself. They reminded her of an old married couple and it made her smile to think two perfect strangers could bond over a baby. Shutting Charlie up, Claire handed over her beach baby and actually sighed. Why I even entertained that, she said as she threw her hands up toward the sky, I have no clue. She apologized to Elle saying she hadn't realized how tired she actually was. Charlie could be so exhausting. Elle's jaw dropped at her remark.

"Not the same _exhaustion _you would know about, you naughty girl," she teased Elle.

Elle took that as a sign to leave Claire to her nap and took a walk along the beach. She was walking along the edge where the shallow waters were taunting the grains of sand when she bumped into someone.

His cheeks reddened by the embarrassment, Jack offered up a lame apology. Noticing he was stammering, Elle couldn't help but laugh in his face.

"Should've checked my blind spot before I headed out," Elle said her voice laced lightly with sarcasm.

Jack laughed, "Didn't realize I was jogging on a one-way beach. Sorry 'bout that."

"Runnin' from the devil, Jacky-boy?"

Jack was taken back by her comment. Wasn't the first time he had heard that comment, but then again, it had sounded better coming from Elle's lips than it did from that Scottish bloke. Elle noticed that Jack was lost in his thoughts so she attempted to make her way around him. Leave a man to his demons, she thought, I'm not one to interfere.

"Hey, Elle, umm, I could use a running partner. Seems I don't have the discipline like I used to."

"That is, if you aren't too busy," he added, looking down the beach to Sawyer's tent.

"My legs still work," she joked, "I could go hours."

Blushing, she hadn't realized the connotation in her words, and fittingly alerted Jack to the fact that she meant she could_ run for hours._ Jack just rolled his eyes as if to say, _who are you kidding_ and they both let their comments evaporate into the humidity.

Running barefoot on the sand suits her, Jack noticed. Her calves were contracting with every flex of her heels as they pummeled into the sand and he couldn't help but notice how toned she was. He hadn't talked to her much, a few words here and there, but he felt drawn to her. He began to reminisce about their fight and how she was quick to defend Sawyer, how some force drove her, _God knows why_, but she possessed something that Jack didn't: patience. He couldn't imagine how she found the time and tolerance to stand by that wisecracking redneck. He had noticed the women on this island and how they were attracted to Sawyer, even little Claire, who seemed to gaze off in his direction when he was swimming. Elle was the first to speak during their run.

"You think they'll find rescue for us, when they set sail?"

"I don't know what they'll find," the air escaping his lungs, "I don't know if they'll even make it."

Biting his tongue, he regretted his words. He figured Elle was worried enough as it was, knowing Sawyer was going on that raft. I'm such a fool sometimes, he scolded himself. Elle slightly gasped at his remark but didn't disagree. Who was she to judge him? Jack was usually candid.

"Well, cynicism looks good on you, Jack. They teach you that in medical school?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "along with _bedside manner_."

Elle couldn't help but laugh at that. Seemed her words came to bite her in the ass, but it was the truth. For such a book smart man, she wondered how he got so far surviving outside of them. Then again, they were surviving on this god-forsaken island. It was good to have your own doctor to tend to your wounds. Who tended to his, she wondered. One person came to her mind…Kate. Jack took pity on Kate. Everyone noticed it. She was like a personal critical care case.

Two green eyes, glared at the two, laughing and running on the beach. Jealousy seethed in his throat as he drew on the last of his cigarette. Stubbing it out into the sand that seemed to equal in its own intense heat, Sawyer stood up, and ran a hand through his hair. Burning holes into Jack and Elle, he cursed himself. Something he never had thought snaked across his mind. _The Doc better not be making any house calls when I'm gone._

Charlie came walking by, bobbing up and down with the baby in his arms. The little chap wouldn't stop crying and he was at the end of his rope, when Sawyer, already ticked off, threw a snide comment his way.

"Hey, Chuckie, want to shut up Rosemary's baby?"

At the sound of Sawyer's voice, the baby stopped crying. Charlie didn't realize how good the silence sounded. Upset by Sawyer's crude behavior, Charlie looked him square in the eyes,

"Are you bloody happy? He's crying again."

Sawyer, not in the mood for Oliver Twist and his surrogate child, said in an icy tone,

"I _was_ happy. If Claire's payin' you to keep that baby happy, you should refund her the money. You're doin' a piss poor job, Chaz." Once again, the baby quieted down at the sound of Sawyer's voice.

Charlie realizing that each time Sawyer spoke, the bundle in his arms had stopped fussing. He was craving silence, and he'd do anything to satisfy a craving. He told Sawyer to keep talking. Sawyer, brushed past Charlie, trying to get away from the annoying twit, and in his southern drawl thickened with sarcasm stated,

"You want me to talk more, _boy_? Ok, fine…I liked the little brat better on the _inside_ than I do now that he's _out_."

Sawyer couldn't shake Charlie and the baby. He didn't know why the baby was soothed by his voice, but he couldn't take the crying anymore. He didn't have a choice really. If Charlie said anything at all, the baby would let out such loud shrieks that he sounded like the nails on the chalkboard. God how he hated that sound. Reminded him of a teacher he had, almost witch-like, nails scraped as she wrote on the blackboard. Sawyer, distracted by his thoughts, wanted to be alone. Alone with his miserable, self-defeating thoughts. He was picturing Elle tangled in sheets with the Doc, imagining them swimming in "their spring," saw Elle teaching Jack-ass how to shoot a bow and arrow. His brow furrowed in disgust.

"She's going to forget me and move on to the next warm body once I'm gone."

Sawyer didn't realize he had said that aloud. Charlie was caught off guard and asked him who in bloody hell was he talking about. To his chagrin, Sawyer found himself confiding in Chaz, the one-hit-wonder boy.

"Elle," he stated dryly, "that's who."

"I know women, Chaz, in and out, and when it comes to waiting around for a fella, they're quicker than men to jump into bed with the next available one."

He was jealous of the Doc for Christ's sake and it was making him think horrible things about Elle. Of course, he didn't believe that Elle would turn to Jack for one hot minute in the jungle, but who was he to judge? He was leaving her, getting on that _death trap_ she so rightly named, and didn't know what to do with himself. What would he do if it was Elle getting on that raft and he was stuck behind on the island? I'd be miserable and I'd make everyone here miserable, he thought to himself, that's what I'd do.

He knew he had to do something about what he was feeling and he needed to make a decision soon. If I was off this island, he thought, I'd just kiss her goodbye and promise to see her soon, knowing all too well, I never meant a word of it. I wouldn't call, I wouldn't write, I wouldn't pick up the goddamn phone. Then again, he couldn't do that to Elle, she was different from the other girls. He'd ignore his ringing phone because he'd be too busy sleeping in until noon with her.

Fed up with his thoughts, he stormed off in search of Elle. If he was leaving, he wanted to spend every minute with her. The only way he could rid his mind of these depressing thoughts was to flood it with her…her body, her scent which reminded him of orchids and melon, her skin, smooth and warm, her eyes…_Lord _how he'd drown in them if she allowed him so.

Charlie, watching him walk away, thought to himself that he'd never heard Sawyer be so profound. Elle must be quite the catch, he said aloud. The silence broke and Sawyer could hear the baby wailing as he walked the beach searching for Elle. Sawyer chuckled to himself and shook his head. The poor bastard, he thought. What he didn't hear was Charlie trying his hardest to calm the baby down.

"Lousy wanker," Charlie looked off to Sawyer, "thanks for nothing."

Sawyer found Elle asleep in her tent. The Doc must'a tired her out, he thought to himself. Hating himself for thinking that, he flicked the little devil off his shoulder. He quietly crawled into her tent and lay down beside her. Elle sighed and drew herself closer to his body. Her lips, slightly upturned, mumbled something inaudible.

"Say again, darlin'?"

A small laugh escaped her lips as she spoke up, "I said not now, James."

"I have all night," he said, mischief lolling off his words.

He found himself talking to her as she snuggled into his chest, wrapping wisps of her hair around his fingers. He told her how special she was, how he would have killed any man who had hurt her, how he'd do anything for her. Thinking she was fast asleep, he continued to talk to her.

"You made me a better man and that's something amazin', seeing how everyone else thinks I'm such an ass."

"I know I like ya'…hell, I think I could love ya'…what else could it be when I get jealous over you laughin' with the Doc?"

Waiting for an answer he knew wouldn't come, he took a breath. _He couldn't believe he just said he could love this woman._

"I just about made a fool outta myself again." he admitted, grateful that Elle was fast asleep on his chest. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed her breathing had quickened. His own heart began to race a bit. Taking a deep breath, he asked her if she was awake.

"Tell me you didn't hear none of that."

Knowing she couldn't pretend for much longer, she looked for the appropriate thing to say. Unfortunately, she opted for sarcasm.

"You were jealous of Jack?" he heard her laugh.

"Son of a bitch!" he sat up too fast and Elle's head hit the blanket. She was laughing uncontrollably and the look on his face didn't help her. Elle propped herself up on her elbows, her abdomen expanding and contracting with each laugh. Sawyer straddled her waist and knocked her arms out from underneath her, causing her to fall back once again. They were in an all out tickle war and she had the upper hand. She knew that he wouldn't last long if she could reach his weak spot. Using her legs, she propelled him off her, and to his amazement, she had him on his stomach. She started to tickle his sides and he was lost to her. Crying Uncle, she let up on him. Rolling over, he looked up at her with his emerald eyes and finally spoke.

"I ain't one to repeat myself, so listen carefully, darlin'."

"_I _was jealous of the Doc."

Returning his playful grin, she told him that the only person, who should be jealous, was the Doc himself.

"Especially after I get through with you."

She straddled his waist and kissed his neck, his _real_ weak spot. He groaned with satisfaction. She took that as a good sign and did it again. This time though, he met her mouth with his and the heat from her breath made him crave more. His hands found her waist and he caressed her stomach as he kissed her mouth, then her neck, and finally finding her mouth once again. Elle reached for his shirt and removed it, stroking his bare chest, and kissing his neck. She nibbled on his ear while his hands found their way across her back to the crook of her neck. She arched her head back into the palm of his hand and he traced her neck with his mouth, finding his way to the crevice of her breasts. Elle's breathing grew rapid and erratic and her whole body was humming. She may have won the tickle war, Sawyer thought to himself, but I'm the champion when it comes to lovin' a woman. Her body gave in to him, she let him guide her, and they met in the middle, dually receiving and giving of one another. She bit her lip, stifling satisfactory little moans. The whole time all he could think of was how sweet she smelled. _Like orchids and melon_.

Tangled in the blankets, the only person he could imagine her being with, was himself. As they lay there, her head on his bare chest, she kissed his salty skin. He confided in her about how angry he was when he saw her with Jack and how tortuous his thoughts had gotten. Elle listened to him, caressing his arm. Finally, Sawyer exhaled and contrary to his earlier statement, he repeated himself for the second time that night.

"Hell, I wouldn't know love if it hit me across the face, but darlin' you got me all messed up inside."

"Looks like you could love me, huh, Sawyer?" she played with his words, savoring their taste on her tongue.

"Looks like it."

Wiping away the droplet of sweat that had committed suicide down her cheek to the tip of her nose, she wrapped her arm around his chest. She didn't know what love was either, she wanted to say. All she knew was she had never felt this way with anyone, like she had with him. He wasn't a mark, he wasn't a one-night stand, he was her own little piece of the south.

"I'm not good at this whole _love thing_," was all she could muster. Kicking herself, she knew he had hoped for a different answer. Breathing in slowly, the words she longed for danced across her mind.

"I like who I am with you, Sawyer. When I'm with you, there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Knowing that this was true, her next words bared a semblance to the aforementioned.

"I just don't know if I like the person I become when I'm not with you."

This was territory unfamiliar to her. She knew she had to tread lightly, stepping over the cracks, tearing down barriers, one heavy brick at a time. She knew the type of person she may become and it feared her to go back in time to that pathetic, sadistic child. Sawyer made her feel safe. The bouts they had when they clashed only made them stronger, they played off one another's strengths and weaknesses, and where they were both social pariahs, they both had the ability to merge with others and become a support system. Sawyer found himself less restrictive and sheltered when he was around her. Elle found herself shedding her inhibitions and opening up to more people. Kissing her forehead, Sawyer regretted for the second time that he had taken a spot on Michael's raft. As if she knew what he was thinking, Elle told him he had to go. Just as he had to go on that raft, she would have to stay behind, and watch him sail off amid the unstable ocean waters.

"I hate goodbyes, you know."

With sincerity in his voice, Sawyer told her they would just say _hello._ She liked the idea of saying hello instead of goodbye. Goodbyes seemed so final, she told him, nothing comes after them. Hellos, on the other hand, were followed by words, such sweet words, and time followed those words. _All she wanted was time._


	20. Chapter 20

The raft was going to set sail that day, but by some mysterious setback, Michael got too sick to take the helm. Rumors that he was poisoned floated down the beach, causing every survivor to question one another's motives. Suspicion clouded the eyes of even the most level headed and pure of heart. The things that were said didn't measure up to the lengths people went to destroy one's chance at hope, or to some, their chance to run one last time. Regrettably enough, sad yet anticipated goodbyes were to be had for some of the survivors, however, miscommunication, mistiming, and a change in heart, kept some from seeing off the only person they could rely on.

It seemed the last moments Elle would have with Sawyer, were more disappointing than pleasurable. Michael accused Sawyer of poisoning him. He called him a thief, a criminal, a no-good waste of human flesh. Sawyer's skin crawled at the words, knowing for once in his life, he wasn't any of those things. Not this time, anyways, he scoffed. He decided to settle it and what came from it was something Elle wished she hadn't been witness to. Shoving Jin back, Sawyer was maniacal, screaming towards Kate.

"Hey sweet cheeks, I had no idea how bad you wanted off this rock. Time to set things straight." He grabbed Kate and dragged her like a rag doll towards Michael.

"Let go of me, Sawyer."

Not letting her go, Sawyer proceeded to diminish any ounce of dignity she owned.

"No way Freckles. Ya'll take a look at who the criminal really is."

Unrelenting, Sawyer began to dig through her backpack for something, the evidence he needed to prove he was right. The evidence needed to prove that Michael would eat his words. Pulling out the passport, Kate panicked.

"Ya'll remember Joanna, don't you? The woman who drowned?" he shoved the passport into Michael's outreached hands. "Wonder what _Miss I'm so innocent_ needed this for?"

All that escaped from Kate's lips was a quiet, hate filled, _shut up _directed to Sawyer.

"Hopin' she'd get rescued, run off with a new identity before half the reporters in the world descend on this damn island? 'Might even poison the captain himself."

"She ain't carin' for nobody but herself."

Sawyer's nosey persona was soiling someone's identity. He was harsh, cruel, and hypocritical as he informed his captivated audience that Kate was a cold-blooded criminal. She was the one who was handcuffed, who was escorted by the deceased marshal, who was using the passport of one of the mournfully departed to make her last attempt at a pristine getaway. Elle took a step back from the scene to revel in the newly discovered information. She was embarrassed that she was a part of Sawyer and she didn't want to be near him. Not at that moment. His words were acidic and the look on Kate's face was pitiful. She looked nothing like herself. As his words bit the air around them, Kate shrunk back, tears nipped her lashes. She confessed her past, why she was on the run, but she didn't take the blame for poisoning Michael. They left her standing there, shamed and alone. Sawyer got his spot back on that raft. His reasoning to Elle was that _he had to do what he had to do _like that would make it any better for ruining Kate's relationship with the rest of the survivors.

Elle found Kate later on that night, sitting alone, her face downcast towards the fire. She sat next to her, her knees pulled tightly to her chest. Elle wanted to tell Kate she was sorry for Sawyer's behavior, she wanted to console her, but she couldn't find the words, or the way. Kate asked her a question that seemed to spark everyone's interest when it came to their perceptions of Elle.

"What do you see in him?" she was serious. "Is it all an act?"

"No one can be that hurtful…can they?"

Elle raised her head and looked Kate square in the eyes. She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity, yet Kate saw the answer in Elle's dark, saddened, eyes. Part of it was an act, she told Kate.

"If you only _knew _what he's gone through, why he is so hard towards everyone…you wouldn't ask me that."

"You say he's like that towards everyone, but I see how he interacts with you. He's got a school boy crush on you, following you around with those puppy eyes."

Elle smile at Kate's words. It was true, she told her. They were more similar than Kate would ever know. Surprising Kate, Elle told her that not everyone was what they seemed. She told Kate how Sawyer taught her about second chances, that this unforgivable place might just have been her way to start over. She told Kate the little things that made her grateful for him. Kate could see her eyes brighten, hard as that is to imagine, Elle's eyes were near black. Kate knew deep down that Sawyer was playing a role, in fact, they all were. He's the con man, she's the criminal, Jack's the doctor, but what was Elle's role? Whatever it is, Kate thought, she's good for him.

"Somehow, all of that," Elle lifted her hands up in frustration, "doesn't seem to make it any easier for what happened to you earlier."

"I feel responsible, in a way." Elle sighed, her shoulders dropping, "I'm sorry Kate."

"Apologies aren't needed, seems sorry doesn't suit some." Kate smirked. It so happened, that Sawyer had stopped by to brag about getting his spot back on the raft. He told her that he _didn't do apologies. _

"I asked him why he wanted on that raft so badly," Kate told Elle, "but I didn't believe him then and I don't believe it now."

"He said there wasn't anything on this island worth stayin' for."

Elle knew why he wanted on that raft so badly, he had a death wish, and they both knew that. Perhaps he had another reason to go, so that he could really love something, someone. The only way to find out was to leave her behind. The only way she'd know, was to let him knew that his answer was just another wall he put up to barricade Kate and the others from getting too close. Still, a part of her, the smallest part of her core, ached.


	21. Chapter 21

The day to set sail arrived and the survivors were anticipating the worst; the French woman showed up warning them of the mysterious Others and their signal of black smoke urging them to either, run, hide or die. She told them that they would be coming for the boy, like they took her child many years before. This spread concern around the beach. Claire was outraged that her baby would be taken and Jack once again took the leadership role. He got a group of survivors to help Michael launch the raft while he set off with a few others to locate explosives that would open the hatch. His main plan was for everyone to move to the caves for ultimate safety. The annoying, yet accurate Artz was giving another science lecture to anyone that would listen; which was rarely a handful. They needed to head out "yesterday" or the change in tide would lead them off to uncharted territory, with no chance of rescue. Last minute repairs on the raft were taking place; Michael, Jin, and Sawyer were working double time to fix the mast.

Elle found herself sitting on a log, watching Sawyer chop bamboo, earnest with every hack of the axe; he was focused on proving that he wasn't the loser Michael saw in him. In silence, they kept one another company, their eyes meeting every once and awhile, as he lifted his arms, the axe raised ready to blow. As the bamboo splintered, Elle felt her heart thump, emotions caught in her strangled throat. He was leaving and her body ached for him.

Jack who came to give Sawyer some last minute advice, along with a handgun, interrupted the silence. What Sawyer wound up telling Jack made Elle wish she hadn't second-guessed his motives. He told Jack that he had met a man, a doctor, who had wished his son knew how proud he was of him. Jack was speechless, Elle imagined, for two reasons; he never knew how his dad had truly felt about him and perhaps Sawyer wasn't as sadistic as he projected himself to be. The two men wished one another _good luck_ and they parted ways. Sawyer caught Elle's glance as Jack walked away.

"I could have kept that to mah'self, but I got to thinkin' I would've liked to have known my daddy loved me too."

Walking towards Sawyer, Elle reached out for his hand. He drew her into his chest, brackish with hard-earned sweat, his lips resting a small kiss on the top of her head, and cradled her. Elle kissed his cheek and her words were bittersweet.

"It's a shame he didn't see you grow up into the man I know."

Pulling away, Elle told him that she was going to head back to the beach to take care of a few things. He told her he needed to finish chopping the reeds, or Mike would have his ass if they were stalled another day. They said they would meet up before the raft set sail, but little did he know, Elle would get her wish; she wouldn't have to say goodbye, because she would never allow it to happen.

Chapter 27

Kate, her backpack in hand, found Elle, her face towards the sea. Taking a spot to Elle's left, Kate stood there in silence, waiting.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kate questioned her, concern coating her words.

Elle sipped from her water bottle and screwed on the cap. Tossing it into her backpack and zipping it up with finality, she answered Kate.

"Yeah, Kate," Elle draped the bag across her shoulders, "I'm sure."

Elle did not intend to see Sawyer off and it wasn't an easy decision to make. She toyed with the idea as a cat plays with a mouse, right before the final kill. Two choices teeter tottered back and forth in her mind. She could say either _hello _like Sawyer suggested or she could go far into the jungle away from the launching of the raft. She chose to be as far away as possible and she had to stick with that decision, no matter how much her heart ached. She knew that he would wonder where she was and realizing that _the few things she had to take care of_ was her meal ticket out of saying goodbye, he would get on that raft.

Together, along with Jack, the French woman, Locke, Hurley and Artz, they trekked through the jungle, heading off to the _Black Rock_ that held their only chance at safety. The cryptic French woman, Danielle, ushered them along, guiding them to dynamite, their weapon of choice to open the hatch Locke had found in the jungle. Moving along, Elle seemed preoccupied at times.

Looking towards the sky, Elle noticed the layout of the sun. They should be setting out by now, she thought to herself. What she didn't think about was Sawyer's reaction to her not being there. Back on the beach, he asked Charlie if he had seen Elle, and Charlie had told him the last he saw of her, she had put a note into the bottle. Handing it off to Sawyer, they set off, waving to everyone on the beach. Simultaneously, as if they knew they were both thinking the same thing, Elle whispered _hello _towards the sea as Sawyer whispered _hi'ya Gorgeous _off towards the jungle.

"You think she's going to be alright," Jack pointed his water bottle towards Elle, "she seems distracted."

"We don't need any mistakes, Kate."

Kate looked towards Elle and back at Jack. Requesting to tag along, Kate couldn't tell her no. She knew what it was like to watch someone worth caring for, fade into the distance. No one should have to do that.

"She's strong, Jack." Kate assured him. "We can use someone like her with us."

"Love makes people do some horrible things," she whispered, "like refusing to say goodbye."

Realizing that Elle had come along to avoid seeing Sawyer off the raft, Jack took pity on her. Why hadn't he realized back in the jungle when he was talking to Sawyer, how heartbreaking she had looked at his side? Wishing he had been more familiar to her needs, Jack walked towards Elle. His need to protect someone kicked into overdrive.

"Got enough water?" he asked her, offering his bottle. He noticed she hadn't bothered to drink anything since they had stopped and he didn't need someone to pass out on this hike through the jungle. Especially when it could be detrimental to the lot of us, he thought.

"Took a few swigs about a half mile back," she smiled, "haven't even broken a sweat yet."

Seeing her smile, Jack was relieved to see she wasn't on the verge of tears. He didn't handle sobbing women well; his past with vulnerable women had proven fatal in his lifetime. Who knows what he would have done if she had been crying. I'd want to console her, he thought to himself, but Sawyer would knock me out if I touched his girl.

"What'cha thinkin' about Doc?" she teased, wondering why in the world he had such a goofy look on his face.

"Oh, nothing," he shook his head, "nothing at all." Hearing her response, Jack didn't realize how much she and Sawyer sounded alike at times. It was like having the smart ass around, only better looking.

As everyone recollected themselves, they started out again towards the unknown. Wondering why in the world anyone would put their trust into the obviously deranged woman, perplexed Elle. Something about Rousseau just didn't sit right with her.

Arriving at a piece of black cloth tied haphazardly to a post, sticking out of the ground, Danielle spoke.

"Le Territoire Fonce," she said matter of factly, her rifle lay limp in her arms.

"English, please," Elle looked agitated.

"The dark territory," Jack translated. Nodding in concurrence, Danielle led them ahead.

"It's not much further," she began, "the Black Rock is just up ahead."

Stopping abruptly, Locke questioned her. Telling them that they had reached their destination, she separated some leaves of an overly crowded bush, and to their astonishment, there stood a capsized ship. Hurley pointed out that she never mentioned that the _Black Rock_ was a ship.

"You assumed I meant a ship, I didn't tell you otherwise."

Laughing to herself, Elle looked at Kate. Kate knew what she was thinking. _You know what they say about making assumptions. _Making their way towards it, they were careful not to disturb the area. Hurley asked what everyone else was thinking, yet it sounded comical coming from him.

"How _exactly_ does something like this happen?"

Danielle looked at him as if they shared a secret. "Are you on the same island as I am?"

Instructing them that the dynamite they had come looking for was in the hold of the ship, she told them she was no longer needed. Walking off, she left them at the ship. Jack became angry, shouting after her, but Locke told him to let her go, and he would lead them back. Giving up, Jack, Kate, and Elle made their way inside. Locke was behind them, in case they needed to make a fast break. One never knew when the _monster_ would return. Artz and Hurley waited on a log. Artz wasn't going anywhere near that ghost ship. He was here for a tutorial in dynamite, not solving yet another mystery on the island.

Kate found the dynamite and together, Jack and she carried it out. Making their way out, Arzt was quick to join the cause. He instructed them all to move away from the crate, with fervor in his voice. He treated them like a bunch of dim-witted high school kids, which only pissed off Elle and Jack respectively.

"Do any of you have _any_ idea the condition this dynamite may just be in?"

Shaking his head at them, as if to say _tsk tsk children_, his role of teacher took a hold of him.

"Do any of you have any idea what happens to dynamite in ninety degree heat, huh?" He began to pry open the crate with a pocketknife.

"It sweats nitroglycerin, the most unstable explosive known in creation."

Gently lifting a stick from the crate, he instructed them that he needed to wrap it with something to keep it from sweating onto the other sticks. You never know how unpredictable they could be, he laughed. Demanding Kate to take off her shirt, she did so unwillingly. She looked at Elle as if to say _creep. _They were hardly paying him any attention and this got him flustered. He was mentioning how nitroglycerin was invented, something about a man being blown up, and he began making his way towards the rest of the group.

"_Nitroglycerin is extremely temperamental so we_..."

The last words they heard before Artz disintegrated into tiny bits right in front of their eyes, were ironic. Goddamn, he was right, Elle thought to herself. The explosion blew them back and pieces of Artz splayed the area, not to mention their bodies.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Kate said, as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Her hair saturated with blood and guts, literally, she thought to herself, hung in pieces across her face. Jack and Locke were clearly shocked, their mouths widened in horror. Hurley summed the whole spectacle into one word-

"_Dude_."


	22. Chapter 22

Back on the island, the rest of the survivors were gathering up their belongings to head off into the caves. Little did Elle and the rest on the dynamite expedition crew know that Rousseau had left them with a plan of her own. Elle was suspicious of the French woman and she should have listened to her gut. While they were making their way to the infamous hatch in the floor of the jungle, Rousseau had kidnapped Claire's baby. She led Charlie and Sayid on a blind mission. The rest of the crew, were on a blind mission of their own. They didn't know what was inside that hatch, nor did they know if there was enough room for the rest of the survivors. They didn't know what trouble lurked around the corner. Packing up the rest of the dynamite, Jack felt that the sticks should be split up amongst them, _if anything should happen_ he said. Kate insisted she should carry a backpack of dynamite but Jack denied her the possibility.

"This is why I came along, Jack." Kate's face stern and determined to carry the dynamite. Sawyer wasn't the only one with a death wish, Elle thought to herself.

"Then I guess you picked the wrong trip to tag along on, Kate." Jack answered her, handling the dynamite with extreme caution.

"Why don't we draw straws?" Locke suggested, not in the mood to stand in the middle of another Jack and Kate debate.

They drew straws and unfortunately to Jack's dismay, Kate and Locke drew the short straws. Packing the bags with the sticks of dynamite, Kate and Locke carefully handled the bags and suspended them across their backs. Unbeknownst to Kate, Jack had switched bags with her.

"Okay," Jack began, "this is how we do this. I'll lead." as he began to adjust his bag.

"Kate, you're right behind me, then Hurley." Hurley nodded to Jack while Kate refused to look him in the eye, tension between the two, apparent.

"Elle, you and John, will bring up the rear."

Elle stepped in and offered that they should probably stagger the formation.

"We want as much distance between each person with the boom sticks, right Locke?" Agreeing with Elle, Locke mentioned that the further they were from one another, the less risk of injury, in case something should go wrong with the dynamite.

Jack finished his little pep talk telling Kate and Locke that if they hear or see anything suspicious, they are to take off their packs and run. Hurley interjected with,

"So, yeah…dude, about that…you mean the scary security system that eats people?" Hurley's nose crinkled and his eyes gave away that he was just as scared as the rest of them. The only difference between him and the rest was the fact that he didn't pretend to be fearless.

"Yeah, Hurley, something like that." Jack answered.

"You guys ready?"

"Let's get this over with." Elle signaled. Kate and Locke were both ready and willing to tackle what came next.

Taking Jack aside before they headed off in formation, Elle suspected that he had switched bags with Kate.

"Is it your personal mission to piss her off, Jack?" Elle whispered.

"Or is it your way of protecting the helpless?"

Jack, astonished that she had noticed the switch, gave her an answer she hadn't anticipated.

"Yes," he sighed, "to both."

"If saving someone I care about from an accidental death will piss her off," he shrugged, "then I'll deal with the aftermath."

Shaking her head, Elle just walked back to formation. Poor Doc, she thought to herself, hadn't he had enough of Kate's wrath?

Together they walked off towards the middle of the jungle where the hatch was buried. Along the way, the jungle seemed to grow darker and ominous as they made their way deeper into it. Hurley made a joke referring to the name, _Black Territory_, and they all shared a brief laugh. Without warning, they heard animal chatter and to the left, there was black smoke, slithering into the trees.

"Did you see that?" Jack asked Kate.

Behind them, Elle recognized the smoke and knew they were facing trouble. Looking to Locke and back to the front of the formation, she shouted they needed to run. Why Locke just stood stationary while the rest of them attempted to run for their lives perplexed her.

"I'll be alright." He said to them.

"Locke, are you insane?" Elle shouted.

He walked towards the smoke monster, his eyes filled with awe. A sudden jolt shook the ground around them and John was grabbed by the ankles; the _monster _dragged him into a hole. Screaming for the dynamite, Jack had Locke's wrists, just barely holding him back from being swallowed into the pit. Kate began to unzip her bag in a hurry and realizing that the bags were switched, Jack told her to get his. The look on Kate's face was priceless, Elle thought to herself. Elle ran the correct bag over to Kate and Jack and watched as Kate attempted to light up a stick and toss it into the hole. Locke was adamant that _he would be safe_ but to his disappointment Kate tossed a stick down the hole and what they experienced next, hardly surprised them. Seeing a puff of smoke rise and slither off into the jungle wasn't anything new to them. After all, they did find a polar bear on the island, the pilot was killed by _smoke_, as in sulfur-laced air, and an invisible machine knocked down trees.

They arrived at the hatch and together they connected the fuse line to the dynamite and Kate ran the fuse away from the hatch itself. Hurley, seemingly distracted, took charge of the torch, and kept the area lit for them to see. Together Jack and Locke rigged the charges and Kate and Elle handled the fuse line. Elle noticed that Jack and Locke were having a semi-heated discussion. Jack turned to face the girls; his eyes were filled with suspicion. Suspicion, Elle knew, not of what they were doing, but of John Locke himself. Kate confronted Jack about switching the bags and when she told him he had no right to make a decision for her, Jack seemed offended, yet steadfast in his decision.

"Everyone looks to me to be a leader, Kate, until I do something they don't like."

Looking at Kate and Elle, he knelt down to their level and let them in on a secret.

"I need to know that you two have my back. If we survive tonight, whatever comes our way, we're going to have a Locke problem."

Supporting Jack, they agreed with a nod of their heads. Elle was only wary of a few people on the island; John Locke had always been on top of her list. Especially after what happened to Boone, her caution of the old man grew. To their back, they heard Hurley screaming for them to stop lighting the fuse, something about it being bad. What is he talking about, Elle inquired.

Attempting to stomp out the fuse, they heard him frantically screaming.

"Stop! Why did you do that John? The numbers are bad! The numbers are bad!"

The fuse was lit and it was snaking across the dirt towards the mouth of the hatch. Hurley was running towards dangerous ground when Jack had to tackle him before they were all blown up with the hatch. Dusting themselves off, they all surrounded the hatch door that had successfully been detonated. Staring down a deep shaft, a tattered rope ladder hung from the latch. Revealing the word _Quarantine _on the door to the hatch, Elle looked up at Jack and asked,

"What the hell did we get ourselves into?"


	23. Chapter 23

Sawyer and the others on the raft were slowly adjusting to the rise and fall of the waves. Seemed Jin and Michael had their sea legs and Sawyer was proving that he was as useless as a brain in a strip club. He was nauseous as hell and every time he managed to move on the raft, his rubbery legs gave out on him.

"Sonofabitch," he groaned, "any chance Bruce packed some Dramamine in that pic'a'nic basket of his?"

Jin, acknowledging yet another one of Sawyer's nicknames, knew he was being talked about, but had no idea what he was asking. He looked toward Michael and pointed back at Sawyer, who was doubled over, his skin as green as his eyes. Shrugging with uncertainty, Jin spoke, his English raw and broken.

"Saw'ya," his face scrunched in frustration, trying to find the word, "sick?"

Michael, nodding in concurrence, thought back to Sun and how nice it must be to have a woman love her husband so much that she prepared a cheat sheet of Korean symbols translated into English.

"Your wife did you well," he patted Jin on the back, "You're one lucky guy, my man."

Jin, recognizing the word wife and judging by Michael's posture and facial expression, nodded a simple, _yes, Sun._

"When you two are done makin' googly eyes at one 'nother," Sawyer coughed up, "care to divvy up the love to the sick guy?"

Throwing him some stale crackers, Michael got back to showing Walt how to steer. Pointing out what he thought was North, he guided Walt's hand on the mechanism that controlled the rudder, explaining the importance of it. Sawyer heard him ask what he should be aiming for and Michael told Walt to keep his eye on the horizon. Hearing the word horizon, Sawyer thought back to a car ride he had taken with his mom and dad when he was little. He had gotten carsick back then and his mom cradled him in the backseat, telling him to keep his eye focused on the border where the sky kissed the earth. Disappointment, sadness, and a bit of anger seemed to coat his words as he spat,

"I've been keepin' my eye on that horizon for over an hour and it ain't done a damn thang but make me want to toss my cookies."

"It'll get easier, man," Michael looked down on Sawyer, "takes some time to gain your sea legs."

"Sea legs, my ass," he grumbled, "how 'bout my stomach?"

Sawyer leaned back against a makeshift seat, made out of woven bamboo and leaves. Taking off his sweat soaked button-down, he rolled it and propped it under his head. Rummaging through the cooler for something to drink his hand skimmed across the slinky neck of the wine bottle Charlie had handed him on the beach. Wishing he had something stronger than water, he lifted the bottle and uncorked it. Pouring out the mini scrolls of hope, he began to read them, one by one. Walt noticed that he was once again invading people's privacy and attempted to reprimand him.

"Those are the messages everyone wrote."

"Sure are, little bit."

"They're private."

Annoyed at his persistence, Sawyer gave a cool but sarcastic _yep_ and continued to read them. Reading through the notes, Sawyer came up a few that sparked his interest. Who the hell is Hugo and how's he got 160 million to leave to his mom, he pondered. The next note he came upon, however, caught him by surprise. It started like the others, but this one had his name in it. He began to skim it for the author and when he saw Elle's name, he traced it with his fingers and started with the salutation.

Dear Lily,

I thought over and over about who I would write to if this was my last letter and I realized with a sad heart that I had no one to leave this to. I don't have a mother, I don't have a father, but I did have a sister. I've missed you so much and I think about you constantly. I've missed you so much that I've imagined you running around here with me, your blonde curls bouncing. There's a girl here, Claire, we've become close as any two strangers can become, and she reminds me of you, if you were all grown up. Her eyes are as blue as yours are. Imagine that! I don't know where you are or if this note will reach you, but I had to try….

_(Intro into Flashback) As Sawyer skims Elle's letter, we find ourselves on the beach a couple of days earlier. Elle is sitting along side Claire and Charlie, talking. _

Elle's friendship with Claire came with a few benefits; today, it came with Charlie and his fanatical ideas. While others on the island were preparing the raft for its launch, Charlie was rambling off his thoughts to Claire while she and Elle were idly sitting on the beach with the baby.

"So what do you guys think?" he asked with that little boy smile of his, his eyes big and luminous, full of excitement.

A slight smirk crept across Elle's lips.

"You want the truth, Charlie?"

Knowing all too well that something sarcastic would drape across her tongue, Charlie dismissed her from finishing the statement and turned to Claire. Elle was obviously annoyed and muttered,

"I hated _Message in a Bottle_, just when they get your hopes up, the poor bastard dies."

Her words seemed to hang in the air, as Claire and Charlie stared at her, their mouths agape. Charlie's intentions were good, a bit cliché, but good. What would be better than to send Michael and them off with a bottle full of messages from the survivors? However, Elle managed to belittle his grand gesture.

"_Bloody hell_, tell us how you really feel, Elle." Charlie stabbed the sand with sticks he was beating into the sand as if he was on the drums.

Realizing her words were damaging, Elle lightly touched his shoulder. Eager to get back in his good graces, she commented him on his air drum solo. Quick to forgive with a hearty chuckle, and _You shoulda' heard me on the bass,_ Charlie returned to prattle on about his messages. Elle mulled the idea over in her head. After hearing Claire back him up and get excited about the idea, Elle was easily swayed. Asking Claire for a few pieces of paper from her journal, Elle began to write her letter. Seeing Elle fervently writing, Claire too, began to scribble in her journal. Pleased with his first takers, Charlie pecked Claire on the head, and walked down the beach, a bounce in his steps.

(_Flash forward to Sawyer on the raft, reading the letter)_

_…I've done a lot in my life I regret, Lily, but I will never regret that day those social workers came to take you away from us. I hope your foster parents were kind to you and gave you a good life. That's all I ever wanted for you. I don't know what else to say in this letter. Charlie, he's the drummer in Drive Shaft, had the idea that we should write letters to put in a bottle. I wasn't too keen on the idea…there's a lot of hope that's going into that bottle…_

_I've discovered that having a tiny bit of hope can do a person good…dwelling on it, though, well, that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I'm going to regret something soon…I'm going to go back on my word…I never do that, Lily. If you remember anything about your "big sis," you know I always kept my word. I just can't watch him go…Your big sis may have found all she's gone looking for and it took a turbulent plane ride for me to find him. Sawyer, James…he's a southern charmer, quick witted and beautiful. Oh, Lily, his eyes are this shade of green, I don't think crayola has a name for it…I wasn't able to open up to anyone about my life until I met him. He angers me so! But… he makes me feel like nothing can go wrong…even though we're stranded on this horrible island. How can I describe how well we fit together…you know the saying, "you can't mix oil and water"? Well…we're the opposite…we're like oil and vinegar…smooth, light, acidic, but just enough kick to make the best salad..._

Sawyer breathed in the salty air, licking his chapped lips. He should feel invasive but reading her words made him want to delve deeper into the letter. Imagining where she was as she wrote this, he painted a mental picture of Elle back on the beach. He could see her wavy brown hair, the sun reflecting off her auburn highlights. She was probably leaning on her side, propped up on her left shoulder, pen twirling between her fingers. I bet she bit her lip a few times, like she does when she's thinking hard about something, he smiled to himself. _Damn_, I miss those lips. The letter, gently held by his callused fingers, flapped in the breeze.

_...I picture you now, Lily, what you may look like, what your voice sounds like…I can't get the image of you on the swings out of my head. I guess you will always be five in my memories.-So young and innocent. I miss those times. If I could wish anything for you, besides the utmost happiness, I hope your life is full of love and laughter. I hope you make mistakes and you learn from them, because that's the only way you can harden yourself against the bad things that may come your way. I hope you find someone who makes you feel perfect even though you know you're flawed. I hope you find your silly prince charming, even if he carries a cigarette instead of a sword. It is possible, Lily…I never knew it would be possible to love someone but I do. Just promise me one thing, tell him you love him. I never said those words to James, but I have a feeling he may have known. He's gone now, on a raft to find us rescue. He's searching for hope and all the hope I have is in this letter. You're always in my heart, baby girl. I love you._

_~Your Big Sis,_

_Elizabeth "Elle" Grecco_

Sawyer must have read Elle's letter a few times before he memorized certain passages. He couldn't help but smile to himself, _the woman loves me_. He relished the thought. Folding the letter, Sawyer kissed it and instead of putting it back with the others, he pocketed it. No one needs to know, he thought to himself. When I get back, with rescue, we'll find her sister together. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Walt shake his head disapprovingly.

"Mind ya business, kid." Sawyer growled.

"It's personal."

Carefully replacing the cork, he placed the bottle back in the cooler, along with the salted fish. Funny, how a letter could make him forget he was so sick earlier. Sawyer found himself growing tired, the gentle rocking of the waves, coaxed him into a peaceful slumber. He dreamt of her that night, memories of their first encounter, their first fight, their first kiss, flittered behind closed lids.

_(Flashback to Elle on the beach, writing)_

As Claire ripped her letter from her journal, she noticed Elle finishing the final words in her letter. Together, Claire and Elle found Charlie, placing his own letter into a salvaged wine bottle. Claire was next to add to the bottle and Elle carefully rolled her letter and gently kissed it before sliding it down the neck of the bottle.

"You seem to be a true believer that there's hope out there," Elle said, doubt clouding her eyes.

"Aye, best to believe in something tangible and I believe those guys over there are just the ones to bring hope back."

Charlie corked the bottle and with a Cheshire-like grin said,

"I'm a romantic at heart."

As they walked down the beach, the sun glaring off the water, Charlie said what they were all thinking. Parting ways, he gave them a half smile,

"Well, mates, that's it, I suppose."

"Yeah," Elle bit her lower lip lost in thought, "that's it."


End file.
